rustypants speaks

There he is! He’s taking issue with this billboard he found by the side of I-65 in Alabama!

Silly Satan! You’re going to upset some Christians out there!

During our Saturday trip to Pensacola Beach today, we got our first glimpse of what’s here, and what’s to come with the oil spill in the Gulf.

Using some of their product, I have tried to articulate how we and many of our friends here in Pensacola feel about BP and the oil spill / death of millions of animals / destruction of habitats / screwing over of lives:

To be certain, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The blobs of oil we saw / stepped in / couldn’t avoid today were nothing compared to what’s a couple miles off shore, and even that is nothing compared to what’s slowly moving our way.

To say that we’re heartbroken doesn’t even begin to cover it.

We’re heartbroken for the wildlife that is being killed by this tragedy. We’re heartbroken for the lives ruined (those killed on the rig; the families left behind; those whose businesses and dreams are shattered; those of us who live on the Gulf coast who will be directly and indirectly affected financially for many years to come).

And we’re heartbroken for selfish reasons, too. When Lise and I moved here back in 2007, we did so for mental health reasons and because we had fallen in love with Pensacola Beach. Many long-time residents we’ve friended here think we’re somewhat crazy – coming to the beach three, four, even five times a week is not unusual for us. We watch the sunset. We collect shells. We sit together and dream dreams. We watch pelicans, terns, and other seabirds fly and live. We watch dolphins, schools of fish, sharks, cownose stingrays, and a vast number of other sealife swim with what seems to us like carefree abandon. We swim. We love. We are still in awe of the incredible diversity that the seasons bring to the shoreline. The peace and comfort we receive just being in the presence of the Gulf shore is indescribable.

Taking pictures today of Pensacola Beach littered with the first wave of tar balls / oil blobs hurt. Picking up a small amount of the oil and seeing how difficult it is to get that shit off of my hands was shocking. I still have oil stuck under / around my fingernails after washing my hands several times.

We’ve both cried. I’m sure we’ll be crying more. The pictures coming out of Louisiana are so painful that I’ve had to stop looking at them. The ramifications for our future here (mental health, financial, job-wise, etc.) are so shocking that we’ve not been able to have a coherent conversation about it yet. But we’re going to have to face this soon.  I don’t know how we’re going to be able to stay here.

And for that: Fuck you, BP.

in the month or so since the contest ended:

• i’m down to 251lbs – 34lbs less than when i started back at the end of May
• the weight training has really been paying off:

• i’ve added running to my daily exercise and am up to 3 miles every night. it kicked my ass at first, but the more i do it, the easier / better it gets.
• my fears of being too busy with work were unfounded. i LIKE working out, biking, running, exercising, etc. and making the time for it isn’t as difficult as i thought it might be.
• i almost entered a 5k a couple weeks ago but chickened out. it’ll happen…
• finally had the physical that i probably should have had before i started this – the good news? everything’s kosher! doc was impressed with weight loss and the way i’ve gone about it. offered a few suggestions and answered a half dozen questions i had about various exercise / weight related things.

i still have a good bit of work ahead of me – i’ve got a lot more gut to get rid of, but what a difference from may of this year (and a 70lb difference since 2005)!

woo-hoo!

dunno about you, but if i were looking for an online college and ran across the following ad, i’d run quickly in the opposite direction.

doesn’t anyone proof these before they’re put out, or is it just that no one notices except folks with grammar fetishes?

where’s my red ink Internet pen when i need it??

anyone who can not only point out the error but also:

• explain why it’s incorrect and
• fix the error

will have their name put in a hat and i will draw one name for the following prizes:

• a sheet of sparkly star stickers to show your friends how smart you are!
• a Santa hat viciously ripped off the top of a dog toy by my dog!
• a couple of beautiful seashells pulled straight out of the Gulf of Mexico!
• an autographed picture of my shrinking manboobs!

to be eligible to win said prizes, you must live in the continental US.

Deadline: Midnight (Central time) on Tuesday August 25, 2009. NO CHEATING! don’t read the other comments until you’ve made your own!

baker college online? you’ll never have me as a student.

i was 13 years old. 1982. jr. high.

the song came on the radio and i froze.

the smooth beat started. the whispered plea, the wailing voice.

nevermind that the subject matter is first and foremost on the minds of jr. high boys everywhere.

the music stays smooth and cool through the entire song, but the intensity of marvin gaye’s singing, the urgency of his needs grows as the song goes on.

holy cow, the man had pipes.

my first 7″ 45 single? sexual healing.

i remember walking up to globe records and tapes at western hills plaza and searching through the singles on the shelf. finding my prize, i bought it and zipped back.

when i got it home, i played it. and played it. and played it. it was my first serious exposure to gaye’s music and it was one i never forgot.

it still has a mesmerizing effect on me. i’ve listened to it four times as i’ve written this and had to force myself not to play it a fifth time. truly addictive.

and no one else can quite set the tone like he does.

…and other times it feels like it’s been a lifetime.

not that this is a bad thing! lise and i celebrated 18 years together today and it’s been a fun, crazy adventure together from the beginning.

we got married on december 1, 1990 in cincinnati after a year of dating and engagement. we had known each other since we were eighteen years old, but didn’t really get to know each other well until we were 20 or so.

i don’t remember the very first time i met her, but i remember being fascinated by her unique spirit and attitude.

she was going to school with my girlfriend / roommate (an evil, underhanded individual) and so we ran into each other at school parties and get togethers. when i finally had the sense to break it off with the girlfriend, i began running into lise in all sorts of places around town. over the course of a year we would run into each other and i would think, “stupid!! stupidstupidstupid! why didn’t you ask her out?!?”

but i knew the answer. she was gorgeous, gentle, and cool. and i was a big fat dork.

when i finally did get up the nerve to ask her out, it was like a bad sitcom. i asked her if she’d be interesting in having dinner, and without even listening to her answer i started telling her it was ok and i understood, etc. she was looking at me like i was nuts – she had said yes! woo-hoo!

i remember our first date quite well. at least, i remember my first date with HER. she apparently didn’t start dating me until about a month after i started dating her (she thought we were just “friends” but i knew better).

we dated from october to february when i proposed to her – quick, you say? hey, i knew what i wanted and i wanted her! thankfully she said yes (although she thought she was getting a hamster for valentine’s, not an engagement ring).

i remember little of the wedding ceremony except that i was nervous and excited.

in the eighteen years since, we’ve:

• lived in cincinnati, ludlow, ky, washington dc, baltimore, cincinnati again, and finally pensacola, fl.
• both gotten college degrees, taught, done youth ministry, and picked up tons of friends and adopted family along the way
• gotten closer to both of our families
• gone through cancers, mental illnesses, thickheadedness, poor decisions
• owned 15 cars
• bought a house and sold it
• driven each other crazy frequently
• gotten crazier together and have had more fun together than we ever thought possible
• realized that we’ll never grow bored, no matter how well we know each other
• grown closer and loved more than we could have ever dreamed

i would marry her again and again. she’s my best friend. she’s my partner. she’s my love. i wouldn’t trade our lives together for anything else. i absolutely love being married to her.

here’s to another 18+ years!

an incredibly fun conversation with one of my girls who is super-smart, over-analytical, logical, gorgeous, who, at times, suppresses her “girlishness” as being illogical, and has at last found a boyfriend who is seemingly like-minded (after a… less than fitting relationship):

Adrienne: well I am writing a paper
and i was at the library
but I decided to pick another study place
so I could meet my bf when he gets out of class
:-)
rustypants: haha
wow
that was like, an OMG moment
sweet
Adrienne: why is that an OMG moment?
rustypants: because i have NEVER heard it from you before, and i’ve known you for…
4 years?
5 years?
Adrienne: heh
I LIKE MY BOYFRIEND
rustypants: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Adrienne: I THINK HE”S REALLY CUTE
rustypants: stop it!!
NIEFPOinhQP[W3ORA;owei”W{ISN
Adrienne: AND I WANT TO KISS HIM ALL NIGHT
rustypants: STOP STOP STOP!!!!
Adrienne: but I can’t
rustypants: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Adrienne: :-/
rustypants: OMG
my equilibrium will never recover

i’ve been on a bit of a joe satriani kick the last few days. his technical proficiency aside, he makes some of the best put together songs out there and with such attention to melody. i almost forget that i’m listening to a completely instrumental guitar album. it’s not just “chops” – it’s musical poetry.

this video is of one of my favorite satriani songs, a love song written for his wife – “always with me, always with you” from his album surfing with the alien. this was recorded two years ago and is probably the best version of it that i’ve heard.

i can’t sing.

that’s not a whiny, self-pitying, boo-hoo statement. i just can’t sing. i DO sing, i simply don’t do it in a way that is humanly bearable to those around me.

but don chaffer – there’s no one i know who has a sweeter voice among male singers.

Download On A Night That Felt Outdated

his songwriting is fantastic. his production skills are over the top. his guitar work is wonderful and expansive.

but oh wow – he just has the sweetest and most expressive voice i’ve ever heard. the above song is called On A Night That Felt Outdated – it was captured live a couple years ago at a concert that has been posted online for download here.

chaffer’s band, waterdeep, has been an underground favorite for years with folks who like folksy, bluesy, jam-band, acoustic, electric, rock & funk – they’ve been consistent in their drive to put out solid, well-put-together music without compromising the music itself.

one thing i particularly appreciate about his music (oh, that voice) has been his ability to stay true to living life – chaffer is a christian who writes and sings about real life not the syrupy sappiness that gets played on mainstream christian radio stations. he writes about pain, about joy, about his family, his frustrations, despair, and contentment – all without becoming a caricature or a pretender. much of what passes for “christian” music today is a cartoon of life – it’s not real or even remotely realistic.

Download Bob Dylan’s Shelter From the Storm

the above song was recorded at the same concert as the first one – he and his wife lori do a cover of bob dylan’s shelter from the storm.

some of our favorite concerts have been waterdeep shows – they have a cohesiveness and fluidity that showcases not only their collective skill as a unit, but the individual skills of each member. being in the audience as they branch off into long, extended solos and improvisational songs is almost surreal.

but that voice. so sweet. so high.

oh, when i grow up, please let me be able to sing like don chaffer.