rustypants speaks

an incredibly fun conversation with one of my girls who is super-smart, over-analytical, logical, gorgeous, who, at times, suppresses her “girlishness” as being illogical, and has at last found a boyfriend who is seemingly like-minded (after a… less than fitting relationship):

Adrienne: well I am writing a paper
and i was at the library
but I decided to pick another study place
so I could meet my bf when he gets out of class
:-)
rustypants: haha
wow
that was like, an OMG moment
sweet
Adrienne: why is that an OMG moment?
rustypants: because i have NEVER heard it from you before, and i’ve known you for…
4 years?
5 years?
Adrienne: heh
I LIKE MY BOYFRIEND
rustypants: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Adrienne: I THINK HE”S REALLY CUTE
rustypants: stop it!!
NIEFPOinhQP[W3ORA;owei”W{ISN
Adrienne: AND I WANT TO KISS HIM ALL NIGHT
rustypants: STOP STOP STOP!!!!
Adrienne: but I can’t
rustypants: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Adrienne: :-/
rustypants: OMG
my equilibrium will never recover

i’ve been on a bit of a joe satriani kick the last few days. his technical proficiency aside, he makes some of the best put together songs out there and with such attention to melody. i almost forget that i’m listening to a completely instrumental guitar album. it’s not just “chops” - it’s musical poetry.

this video is of one of my favorite satriani songs, a love song written for his wife - “always with me, always with you” from his album surfing with the alien. this was recorded two years ago and is probably the best version of it that i’ve heard.

i can’t sing.

that’s not a whiny, self-pitying, boo-hoo statement. i just can’t sing. i DO sing, i simply don’t do it in a way that is humanly bearable to those around me.

but don chaffer - there’s no one i know who has a sweeter voice among male singers.

Download On A Night That Felt Outdated

his songwriting is fantastic. his production skills are over the top. his guitar work is wonderful and expansive.

but oh wow - he just has the sweetest and most expressive voice i’ve ever heard. the above song is called On A Night That Felt Outdated - it was captured live a couple years ago at a concert that has been posted online for download here.

chaffer’s band, waterdeep, has been an underground favorite for years with folks who like folksy, bluesy, jam-band, acoustic, electric, rock & funk - they’ve been consistent in their drive to put out solid, well-put-together music without compromising the music itself.

one thing i particularly appreciate about his music (oh, that voice) has been his ability to stay true to living life - chaffer is a christian who writes and sings about real life not the syrupy sappiness that gets played on mainstream christian radio stations. he writes about pain, about joy, about his family, his frustrations, despair, and contentment - all without becoming a caricature or a pretender. much of what passes for “christian” music today is a cartoon of life - it’s not real or even remotely realistic.

Download Bob Dylan’s Shelter From the Storm

the above song was recorded at the same concert as the first one - he and his wife lori do a cover of bob dylan’s shelter from the storm.

some of our favorite concerts have been waterdeep shows - they have a cohesiveness and fluidity that showcases not only their collective skill as a unit, but the individual skills of each member. being in the audience as they branch off into long, extended solos and improvisational songs is almost surreal.

but that voice. so sweet. so high.

oh, when i grow up, please let me be able to sing like don chaffer.

Download Great Blue Heron Burgers - It’s What’s for Dinner!

i’ll admit it.

the first time i ever gave blood was to get out of work for a little while. i was 18 and working for a department store when an announcement was made that anyone who gave blood at the bloodmobile that afternoon would get an hour off with pay. after giving, there were cookies and pop! omg! an hour off AND cookies AND pop!!! WOO-HOO!!!!

so i gave. and continued to give, long after the benefit of an hour off expired. it was helping someone, didn’t take much time, and hey - cookies and pop!

so i finally went to the NW FL Blood Center last week to give. nice folks. free t-shirts. free pop. free little debbies. there was a lot of attention given and you felt like a minor celebrity.

and then yesterday i get a call.

“mr. rust, this is _______ at the NWFLBC and i wanted to call and talk to you about donating again.”
“so soon?” i asked.
“well, you donated whole blood last week, and of course you have to wait 8 weeks between those donations, but mr. rust, your platelet count (insert long explanation of how rustypants’ count is THREE TIMES the normal count)!!”
“uhh… wow. should i be worried?”
“oh, no! this is great! you can give platelets every three days!!!”
“hey, cool,” i said, blind to what was coming next.
“platelets are crucial for cancer patients, leukemia patients, and others who have blood diseases! and because of their short shelf-life, we’re in constant need of people like you who have extremely elevated levels in their blood. think about all the people you will be helping - your one donation will probably help three people! (insert continued unnecessary encouragement on the importance of donating)”

i felt like a rock star. no lie. i was being courted with facts, t-shirts, candy, drinks, bring a dvd to watch if you want, we’ll sign you up to win a new car, your platelets are so sexy, mr. rust, i wish i could be the technician who centrifuges your blood, everyone should be so lucky to have your platelet count, would you sign my shirt, let me stroke your arteries…

“ok. sign me up.”
“really?”
“umm.” now i’m confused.
“it will take up to two hours to complete when can you come in?”

and then the sun rose. the lightbulb turned on. the cold water of realization hit.

they will never stop calling now, will they? i’ll be their rock star until my platelets rebel and stop kicking it so hard. then, and only then, will my star fall. and i’ll just be another has-been. a washout.

hey! helping others! cookies! pop! it’ll be worth it.

a couple years ago, while attending a youth minister’s conference in atlanta, i got to see cannibal corpse in concert. they were playing at the masquerade. i knew i was in trouble when the lead singer said in a very soft-spoken, southern drawl, “this is a song i wrote about chopping my girlfriend’s head off with a rusty hacksaw and having sex with her neck. it goes something like this…”and then launched into the most aggressive and awful rock song i’ve ever heard. the crowd went(?) nuts and i was thinking i might be killed.

secretly, though, i was having fun. i mean, cannibal corpse!!!

with the return of the summer heat and the high humidity comes what lise and i can only call “big sky” - you can’t even wrap your mind around how big the sky looks here, how HUMONGOUS the clouds appear…

i think part of the illusion is that lise and i have spent so much of our lives in cincinnati - a town that is located in a valley and with so many buildings and houses that you can’t really see as much of what’s going on around you in the atmosphere.

obviously, being on the beach gives you about the levelest view you’re ever going to get.

but it’s beyond that, too. you simply don’t get these kind of cloud formations and insane storms up in ohio. pensacola is considered semi-tropical - the locals explain it this way: “don’t like the weather? wait fifteen minutes. it’ll change.” and this is the honest truth. in ohio, when it rains, it rains EVERYWHERE. in pensacola, when it rains, it’s likely to be over in just a minute.

the storm pictured above, which turned my school into a virtual swimming pool and made the electricity flicker, lasted all of twenty minutes. an hour before - sunny sky. an hour after? sunny sky. but when it storms down here? son, you want to be in the house!

one wild aspect of this is that in the middle of a torrential downpour, just 1 minute south of you can be blue sunny skies. you can SEE it… while you’re getting drenched. but cloud watching is quite fun down here and there’s no shortage of entertainment when it comes to the weather. just one more reason for you to quit your northern ways and come on down. we’ve got room for you.

not gone yet, but what a couple days this has been!

the previous post talks about my whirlwind day on tuesday with the realtor and getting a contract on the house. what has ensued since then has been an edge-of-your-seat thriller involving the ability of the buyer to secure financing that satisfies her needs as well as the needs of the bank.

when i didn’t hear anything by the end of wednesday, i wasn’t worried but i was wondering if maybe our celebration was premature. by the end of the business day today, i was a bit worried.

then tonight, rakesh (our realtor) called and said the magic words: she got financing and the house inspection is this sunday morning at 9am!

my first reaction was not a pleasant one and i’m a bit surprised at myself.

our move to florida has been the best thing that could have happened to lise and i. as i’ve mentioned before, i believe that it literally and figuratively saved our lives. we’ve sacrificed a lot in the process, but in the end we’re happier than we’ve been in years and feel alive again. we’ve made decisions and changes regarding how we live and what we need / don’t need to get by - it’s only been a good thing! we miss our families and friends terribly but we’re in a better place to appreciate and love them where we are than where we were.

so my first reaction tonight was one of melancholy, fear, and sadness. i want to be happy about selling the house but wow - we’ve spent the last 16 months working towards selling it, and with so much frustration, loss, and disappointment - the reality of selling our house has finally hit.

we thought we were going to die in this house when we bought it. we thought we were going to host parties and dinners and get togethers here until we were little old folks. we loved coming home to all this space and room. we didn’t have to worry about whether the tv was too loud or the music too loud or whether we had clothes on (not that this one has ever stopped me…) we got to have our own rooms / offices to have our own space we had a huge basement and got couches and the tv and were going to have youth group over here every weekend and kids and we put our pictures up and had cookouts and played cards and friends came from out of town and stayed with us and there are things i’ll never forget about this place.

and i’m sad. sad for things lost. sad that things didn’t work out the way we had envisioned them. sad that the freedom and independence we felt with the house didn’t continue. i’m melancholy because of an ideal that we had built in our heads about what Having A House meant. I’m scared because of losing our last physical tie to cincinnati, having an “out” if we decided that moving to pensacola was a mistake, not being able to just cruise into town whenever we are able.

and then after i had a good little pity party and shed some tears over these things, i’m happy and relieved.

i’m happy because this is the end of the process we started so long ago. because we’ll no longer be losing huge sums of money to a place that sits empty. because this will allow us to build our savings back up and move on to this next phase of our lives begun last summer when we pulled up to the sandy shore and dug our toes in and let our hair down. relieved because i know that the house has been a stressful thing and causes me to cling and hold on to things that are no longer there. relieved because that ideal was not realistic in the long haul and in the face of an ever-changing thing we call life. i’m happy. i’m happy because lise and i can now focus completely on what we need to focus on: each other. i’m the luckiest guy on earth - my wife is the best!

sorry for the long post but it’s helped me process.

met with the new realtor today and this is how the day went:

11am: realtor comes. we walk through the house. we sit and talk. we sign papers. we decide on a listing price ($10,000 less than we paid for it 5 years ago and $20,000 less than our original listing last year). he tells me he’s pretty sure it’ll end up selling for 5,000 to 8,000 less than we’re listing it. not good, but we’re at the point of making mortgage payments on a credit card. we’ve GOT to get rid of this house. everything must go. prices have been slashed!

noon: realtor tells me to work in the yard a bit and look at getting bids for having a shower installed in the first floor bathroom, plus a few other things. he tells me to try and get all this done by late next week.

5pm: after working in the yard most of the afternoon, i come in the house and my cell phone has three missed calls and two messages from the realtor’s office. they have someone who wants to see the house tonight at 6pm.

5:02pm: scott is hyperventilating from how messy the house / yard is and that this dude, this realtor, whom we picked specifically because his name and face are everywhere on the west side, and because my dad used to work with him and pegged him as a go-getter and aggressive, has gotten someone already to look at the house.

6pm: house is as clean as it’s gonna get. scott scoots out the door and goes to his mom’s.

9:15pm: realtor calls. scott jokingly says, “hey, tell me you’ve got a contract for me!” realtor says, “i’ve got a contract for you!” scott says, “dude, the ink’s not dry on the paperwork from this morning. you messin’ with me?” realtor says, “nope. i’ll be by at 10am to get your signature.”

april fools?

apparently not.

more on feelings / details later.

i’ve gone for years surfing through musical phases that last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. i might get hooked on blues for a while, then abandon it all together for pink floyd, classical, or rap. jazz has always been a big one but even that comes in phases. all flavors of rock are acceptable, depending on the phase of my musical brain.

i’ve been teased for as long as i can remember for an insanely diverse taste in various genres of music and my 80gig iPod purchase 1 1/2 years ago was due in large part to my being tired of having to carry around 400+ cd’s in my car to keep from getting bored.

recently i’ve gotten stuck in a strange musical dichotomy phase.

my love of the grateful dead is no secret. back in junior high, i got the 3-LP Europe ‘72 album - it’s not the least indicative of a typical dead concert but the music was intriguing. psychedelic rock / bluegrass / folk / jazz / blues all wrapped into extended jam sessions = yummy music.

i’ve since acquired well over 60 bootleg concerts ranging from the late 60’s to around 1991. this is one of the phases i’m in right now, revisiting concerts and video of some 70’s and 80’s shows and just being in awe of their ability to make each show sound different, each song sound different, even after 20+ years playing the same tunes. their versatility impresses me and i’ve said for years that it’s awesome watching technically proficient musicians who enjoy playing together, playing together!

here’s a decent video of the dead in action back in ‘72.

my other current phase is about as far from the dead as you can get and still be in rock.

dream theater is a progressive metal band that’s been cranking out industrial strength speed / orchestral metal for 20+ years. i fall for bands like dream theater based on my early love of jazz fusion bands like return to forever - musicians who are stunning in their abilities individually, but then so in tune together that it seems they play as one. what makes this an unusual choice for me is that DT is VERY over-produced and sometimes almost comically melodramatic in their presentation. they’re tight, and not just because it’s packed together well in the studio: they are crazy tight in concert, too. but that progressive metal with melodramatic overtones gets up in my craw after a while.

and to be honest with you: i don’t really care for their vocalist. if there’s a weak link, he’s it.

but they have a killer “official bootleg” of their interpretation of PF’s Dark Side of the Moon that’s worth the price of admission.

this is a pretty good musical representation of dream theater laying down a track in the studio.

i can’t explain the strange phases i go through with music but i always know this: it’ll soon pass…

and next week it might be Jay-Z and Blind Lemon Jefferson. woo-hoo!

the email surprised me, i’ll admit. my reaction surprised me, too.

i thought the anger had passed. i really hadn’t thought about it in a while.

but last saturday it reared its ugly head again and i was left angry and speechless.

i received the following email that day:

it was one of the two pastors who screwed me over two years ago from impact church. and after that anger and bitterness passed, i laughed out loud at what the email was asking me to do.

“confirm that you are, in fact, friends with _____.”

and i thought about how “friends” don’t do what he did. how “christians” aren’t supposed to do what he did. especially in light of our extreme need of being ministered to during one of our most difficult times. and how no ministering was offered, only an offer of hush money to cover up their gross mishandling of the situation. and how i was allowed to come up with whatever lie i wanted to tell the church about why i “decided to leave” and they would parrot that to cover their asses, offering no chance of any reconciliation, only more lies and fabrication.

and after i laughed a bit, i thought about how surprised i am at the disappointment that still resides in me because of that situation. i lost a church family because of this guy’s mismanagement. i lost a trust that has always been fragile for me. my integrity was trashed in order to save his (and with the church’s money to keep it quiet).

dunno. the guy certainly has a pair, though.

the cowboy junkies, a band that has been near and dear to me for 20 years, has revisited the trinity sessions, the album that first turned me on waaay back in 1988 at the tender age of 19.

i first blogged about this album back in 2006 when i loaded the thing on my ipod. it’s lost none of its power or greatness since then. i was skeptical at first upon hearing that they were remaking the album, but upon further investigation, it’s a re-interpretation more than simply going back and re-doing the same thing.

and it sounds delicious.

you can download a free song from their revisited website: trinity revisited and can also watch some utube video from the DVD.

sadly, the trinity revisited tour doesn’t come close to pensacola, so i’m out of luck on seeing them perform it live (short of the DVD included with the album) - if you live near one of the cities, go for me, huh?

the following was taken off the revisited website:

The band’s Michael Timmins explains the genesis of the DVD: ’’To celebrate the 20th anniversary of The Trinity Session we decided to head back to Toronto’s Trinity Church with the idea of revisiting the album with the benefit of twenty years of experience under our belts. We enlisted a few musicians for whom The Trinity Session had some personal and professional resonance and whose individual work resonates with us. The idea was to cobble together a loose band sound with just a few hours of rehearsal and a one day recording schedule, resulting in the eight of us bouncing ideas off of each other and inspiring one another spontaneously … much the same way that we created the original recording. We came, we played, and the church, once again, did the rest.’’

dolby and i went to the beach together last week and hung out. he’s a good companion - i let him off his leash and he never goes more than 15 yards from me, responds well even with distractions, enjoys the water, the sand, and pieces of flotsam.

we sat together and watched the sun go down after a particularly silly crazy-dog session of running, fetching, rolling around in the sand (”making sand-angels,” we say), walking into the water and sitting down, chasing plovers, etc.

and on this night, he did something funny.

unless he’s laying down, dolby’s an active dog. he rarely just “sits still” in an upright position without moving. i had been taking pictures of the sunset and the water as i sat and i turned to see what he was up to - he was sitting completely motionless, watching the sky.

now for those photography buffs among you, you know that when the sun is gone and the sky is clear, long exposures are a must. for those non-photography folk, this means that any movement at all typically ruins the shot and the moving object is blurred. i took about 15 shots of dolby from various positions and angles with a 1/2 exposure and an f-stop of 2.7 - the shot to the left is one of the best and it’s a pretty cool picture, if you want to know what i think.

dolby’s done quite well transitioning from a city dog to a seadog, but i’ll admit:

when he sits like this and stares at the sky, i can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking.

“i miss my backyard. i miss having the whole house to run around in. where are the girls who used to come over and scritch and scratch me and spoil me? how long are we going to be in that tiny apartment? is it going to snow down here? will i get to chase snowballs again? where the hell are all the squirrels?”

and i cry a little because i know i’m homesick.

i miss my family. i miss my friends. i miss my house. why are things happening like this? how long are we going to be stuck in this tiny apartment? where’s my comforting familiarity?

what a see-saw.

lise and i pulled into pensacola tonight around 9pm to a gorgeous and outrageous lightning storm. decided to put off checking into the hotel and instead drove straight to the beach - the storm was coming in from three sides with the moon still visible in the southwest sky and stars abounding to the south / southwest. the rest of the sky was pitch black, thick, billowing clouds moving through with a nice wind blowing from the northwest.

we parked our butts and gaped. it was gorgeous.

and then i thought, “hey! long exposure shots will capture this lightning! quick! get the tripod!” and what was documented doesn’t do justice to the real show, but wow - what a night. definitely in the top 5 greatest electrical storms of all time.

i’ve got 16 pictures up for your viewing! bring on the elctrical storm!