rustypants speaks

the latest excitement:

• i’m down 41lbs from last june to 244lbs
• i continue to run 5x / week, lift weights 3x / week, bike infrequently, watch my calories, do some circuit training a couple times a week, drink lots of water, and juggle daily.
• i started doing yoga 3 weeks ago and am enjoying it quite a bit – very relaxing, yet also a workout. i frequently do it at night before heading to bed and it helps the insomniac in me fall asleep.
• this pic was taken this afternoon while hamming for the camera:
  
• the picture drives me to ask the question: if you had a high school teacher with guns like that, would you be messing around with him? no? then why the heck do my students mess with me? is it the shoes? is it the smile? maybe i don’t flash the guns around enough?
• i’m neck-deep in IEP writing, with somewhere around 18 IEP’s due in the next 2 months. oy vey.
• add to this that i’m taking a course on educational assessments at UWF and it’s a double oy vey.
• stephen king’s Under the Dome was a great read until the last 30 pages. he really is a master of plot development, but his endings are so frequently just blah.
• i’ve now worn my Vibram Five Fingers every day for three months and i’m telling ya: these things are absolutely awesome. i did acquire a second pair of them (seen in above picture) and do all my teaching, workouts, running, etc. in them. my feet / legs / knees / back have never felt better. i realize i have a followup i need to do on my previous post – it’ll happen, promise!
• spring break is the last week in march – i’m planning on being in Cincinnati for a couple days. am thinking of arranging some kind of party for a couple hours one night and see if we can’t get everyone together in one room to visit and catch up!
• there’s more to tell, but this was unplanned and as such, my brain is mush.

thanks to kate for the kick in the ass.

the view

as of june 3

lise subbed for me yesterday.

when she came home, she told me about one student who was continually disrespectful to her, then insulted her. he’s a new student in the class, but well known to the disciplinary officers.

today that student strolled into class all cool and whatnot. “whassup, mr. rust?” he asked.

“siddown and shut up.” was my reply.

“what’s wrong with you?”

“you dis my wife and insult her yesterday? wrong way to get on my good side. sit. shut it.”

*look of disbelief* “that was your wife?”

*rest of class laughs uproariously*

he sat and pouted the rest of the class.

this was the email sent out friday morning at school announcing our haiku contest winners… names deleted to protect the innocent.

______________________

My distinguished panel of judges and I wrestled with many entries and almost came to blows in our struggle to choose the top three haiku – here are the results!

In Third Place, Xxxx Xxxxxxxxx wins the lightly used Continental Airlines Barf Bag for:

Anticipation
Like puppy dog tail wagging
June, July, August

In Second Place, Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx wins Nunzilla for the following submission:

Awakening minds
Butterflies’ wings emerging
An Aha moment

And finally, the First Place Winner of the snarky office door hangers, Xxxxx Xxxxxxxx submitted:

Will someone teach boys
To pull up their sagging pants
No peep shows at school
_____________________________________

Honorable Mentions abound (as will Mardi Gras beads):

Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxxx sent:
Darn, It is Monday
WhY am I here? Oh that’s right
I Get paid Friday

Xxxxx Xxxx says:
That Crow woman canÂ
clean and jerk three hundred pounds!
sixty pounds, five lifts

Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx opined:
I wonder today
at the students’ attitudes
and ask, “what went wrong?”

Xxxx Xxxxxxxxx also sez:
Apathy abounds,
Stealing moments on cell phones,
Ignorance remains.

Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxx ventures:
Hazardous meeting
The blowhard passes me by
I feign diffidence

and finally, for managing to sneak in the name of our first female Pulitzer Prize winner for Poetry, Xxx Xxxxxx declared:

What is in a name?
Edna St Vincent Millay
Poetry? Oh yes!

(Nancy Boyd wouldn’t have worked quite as well in that one, would it, Jay?)

Thanks to everyone who participated – it truly was fun to wade through the submissions and hard to pick the top ones!

the following was an email i sent to the entire school this morning initiating a haiku contest…
—————————-

Win prizes and literary fame in the PFHSÂ Staff Haiku Contest!

Well, maybe not literary fame, but hey – prizes! Bragging rights!

The History:
I write haiku to keep from going insane. I keep a notebook with me in my backpack where I write my haiku as a way to keep my cool in the face of adversity and frustration (read: students and school politics, etc.). It’s a quick, fun, and easy little trick that I can do right in the classroom as I catch my breath, grind my teeth, and try to keep my hands from grabbing someone’s throat.

What Is Haiku:
Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that consists of 17 total syllables split into three lines with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the 2nd line, and 5 syllables in the third line. This is a simplified explanation of something that can easily be Googled, but for the purpose of this contest, the above makes sense, right?

Examples:
Last Friday was a bad day for me. 2/3 of the way through the day, I wrote the following haiku:

(5 syllables) Thank God it’s Friday?
(7 syllables) Hah! I laugh with contempt and
(5 syllables) Write mass referrals.

I write haiku when good things happen, too. The following examples include both good and not so good:

My boss, Frank Murphy
The best principal on earth!
Keep my job next year?

Awful Seventh class!
Rust stuck it to them, and how!
No compassion here.

Valentine’s Day is
anniversary of our
agreement to wed!

A friend of mine also writes haiku and we sometimes email each other with them:

The stone we do roll…
A task so Sisyphean…
Whiskey’s the answer!Â

And now, The Contest:
Be creative! Write some haiku! They can be funny, serious, concerned, worried, angry – whatever tone you want them to have! The only rules are:

1. Be sure to stay within the confines of 17 syllables broken into a 5-7-5 pattern.
2. Make your haiku school-related.
3. Submit as many haiku as you want!

Submit / email your school related haiku to me before the end of business Thursday (February 26) and my distinguished panel of judges and I will award prizes for the top three haiku, and several honorable mentions.

The Prizes (see attached picture for each item in all its glory):
1st place will receive a pack of six handy Office Door Hangers with messages like: Out To Lunch (and short a sandwich); Meeting In Progress (the practical alternative to work); Bad Day In Progress (enter at your own risk); and three others! Use these door hangers to warn students and staff of your current disposition!
2nd place will receive Nunzilla! This fire-breathing wind-up sister trudges straight out of a Catholic school student’s nightmare like a determined disciplnary force, with green eyes blazing and sparks flying from her mouth!
3rd place will receive a lightly used Continental Airlines Barf Bag / Seat Occupied sign.
Honorable Mentions will receive a strand of Mardi Gras beads caught and harvested this past Saturday morning on the streets of downtown Pensacola.

Go ye therefore and write!

Scott

so far? the entries are quite good!

7th period is That Period. the bad one. the one that drives me the craziest.

it’s mostly a dynamics issue. 8 of the 18 just don’t belong together in one classroom. but alas, the room’s not big enough to separate them as they require.

so we’re at the tail end of an excerpt from richard rodriguez’s autobiography – i’m building to the climax, the epiphany, the “aha” moment when an entire period of childish, stupid behavior on the part of my sophomores and juniors leads me to shut down the class. i’ve had enough. i’ve already had to remove one student and was close to removing a second. six others are just being disruptive, talking, trying to distract me and others, texting on cell phones, arguing with my aide – it just sent me over the top.

so i informed them: you’re on your own. finish reading it by yourselves. the 30 questions? due tomorrow at the end of the class. i was going to do them with you – now? sorry. oh, and don’t forget the test on friday. now, zip it.

and the trouble students in the class managed to zip it for about 10 minutes. then a couple more referrals had to be written.

and my 10 students who listen, participate, and don’t give me crap? their faces were like, “oh, hell no!” but they kept it together and most of them started working on finishing the story and answering the questions.

and i was so damned angry on the way home. the extent of my anger was illogical, almost blinding. and i realized that what i did wasn’t fair to my non-asshat students.

so i stopped and bought a case of cokes and rootbeer and a couple snacks. i wrote out my list of students who were going to get got, and those who weren’t. i ran it all by my department chair and a couple others (thumbs up all the way) and then laid my trap.

and 7th period, students come in and see pop and snacks and eyes light up. especially those of the soon-to-be-banished. everyone gets seated and i wrote the names of those who would not be joining us on the board. to the rest of them i said, “grab a book, a desk, a pencil, and think about what you want to drink and eat, and let’s get in a circle!” to those getting the boot, i said, “you guys can get a book, a pencil, and paper, and go to the library where you’ll do all 30 questions, then study for tomorrow’s test.”

and the looks on their faces – it was indescribable. and frankly, the glee i felt at seeing it was probably inappropriate, the groaning and whining only adding to my satisfaction.

and the ten who stayed back with me – we took the exam together and had a good discussion about the main points of the book over cokes and snacks. and 10 A’s were given.

tomorrow? the other 8 get to take the test on their own while today’s group gets a free period.

i’ll try not to be so gleeful, promise.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” but in 7th period? i’m the lord. deal with it.

thirteen.

that’s the magic number of pronouns in the extra credit question posed friday.

“how so?” you might be thinking. let’s break it down, shall we?

panel 1: “you” “me” “you” “they” “you”
panel 2: “it” “you” “someone” “your”
panel 3: “I” “you”
panel 4: “I” “I”

final tally = 13

for those who guessed 15, i am assuming you added “these” in panel 1, and perhaps one of the instances of “that” in panel 4. both of these words CAN be used as pronouns, but “these” is an adjective modifying “assignments,” and the word “that” is used as an adverb (showing extent or degree).

my two winners? kate (a way cool chick and junior at U of Maryland) and rachael (another way cool chick, and a junior at Miami University). i’ll have your prizes in the mail this week!

one thing i learned here is: this extra credit question will be virtually impossible for my students to get. 15+ people responded to this via comments, facebook, text messages, and in person, and only two got it right (and at least 40 others clicked on the link but refused to answer the question, making me suspect those folks didn’t know it either). i may need to modify this one and make it multiple choice.

thanks for participating!

the end of the first semester at my school is upon us and i’ve spent the last several days putting together my 1st semester final exams (counting as 20% of my students’ final grades). in an attempt to start with a chuckle on my three English exams, i’ve put one of my favorite calvin and hobbes cartoons on the exam cover.

i also included an extra credit question on each exam and for my ENG12 class, i had a brilliant idea! the question is: how many pronouns are in the calvin and hobbes comic on the cover of this exam?

but looking it over, i wonder how many of them will get it, and whether it’s an unfair question.

so, faithful friends, i put it to you:

how many pronouns are in the following cartoon?

the first correct answer will be rewarded with a pair of Plak Smacker FUN Great White Shark Toothbrush Covers and a strand of authentic Mardi Gras beads (and you can keep your shirt down, thankyou). these will be sent by mail next week.

the second correct answer will win a genuine paper hat stolen from The Varsity in Atlanta, GA.

please, only one guess per person, and please don’t be intimidated by previous answers – gimme yours, too!

my campaign for Teacher of the Year folded up its tent 2 weeks ago after a long, arduous journey. along the way, i enlisted the help of our school librarian to start a fake smear campaign just so we could have a bit of fun with it. unknown to me at the time, she was planning her own campaign! a third teacher got in on the act, and by election day, a full-on battle was brewing for the hearts and affections of the staff.

on the day of the vote, i sent out this final push to my school:

My friends -

Early poll results are showing a precipitous drop in support for my candidacy for Teacher of the Year. Must I cross my fingers and reiterate my capricious campaign promises from last week? Is that Crow woman able to sway your support so easily? This smear campaign waged by my opponent is a distortion of the exemplary record I manufactured and have run on these five days.

Do you really want a year of being represented by some librarian who dyes her hair blue? Or a science teacher with ray bans making what is surely some secret sign of the devil with his fingers?

Please: consider the alternatives, then reach the only acceptable conclusion: this hearing impaired, ESE-teaching, Ohio Yankee transplant representing our fine school would show a tolerance and acceptance not seen in other schools. Consider the barriers we can break and the unity we can build… together as I reach across the aisle and work with my non-hearing-impaired, Southern counterparts.

Thank you for your support, and God bless the PF Eagles -

Scott Rust

sadly, this final push came to naught, and finally, after the dust settled and the votes were counted, none of the three of us won – a much more worthy teacher took top prize. my concession email was sent the following day:

My friends, we have come to the end of a long journey. The PFHS staff have spoken, and they have spoken clearly. A little while ago, I had the honor of emailing ____ ______ to congratulate her on being elected the next Teacher of the Year of the school that we both love.

I am so deeply grateful to all of you for the great honor of your support and for all you have done for me. I wish the outcome had been different, my friends. I hope for a kinder, gentler Pine Forest with a thousand points of light. A kinda mavericky school. And today, I call on all Eagles to not despair of our present difficulties but to believe always in the promise and greatness of PFHS, because nothing is inevitable here. Furthermore, I pledge to do all in my power to help Ms. ______ lead us through the many challenges we face.

In closing, I offer you my final 2008 TotY Campaign poster and pray you will print it, post it, and always remember the year that a Deaf Yankee ESE teacher was candidate for the highest office in PFHS.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless PFHS.

Scott

there’s always next year!

thursday in my box at school was a half-sheet of paper on which we were to nominate our school’s Teacher of the Year. i was a bit thrown because i’m new this year and know very few people – how am i to make a rational decision on this? and the nominations were due by friday – holy cow!

“nominate yourself!” i thought to myself. a few minutes of deliberation and a few more minutes to formulate an email launching my one-day campaign and i was on the campaign trail! the following email was sent to the entire school:

From: Scott Rust
Subject: If you vote for me as Teacher of the Year…

…I promise to:

- Lower your taxes
- Increase departmental budgets
- Give each teacher a laptop
- Demand an additional 10 days leave per year
- Maintain defense spending for PFHS
- Boost technology spending (SmartBoards for EVERYONE!)
- Wash your car each Friday before 3:35
- Put mints on your desk each morning
- Negotiate a treaty with Russia
- Guarantee each printer and copier has toner / ink
- Eliminate behavior problems in the student body
- Research self-writing referrals
- Switch to a robo-call system for the Deans making phone calls home

My platform goals can be found at:

http://www.scottrust4PFHS-TotY.com/

Thank You, and God Bless PFHS -

Scott

the response was insane. i was inundated with pledges and promises of votes, and also fielded other requests to add to my campaign promises. after some discussion with my advisers, a second email was sent at the end of the day:

From: Scott Rust
Subject: Amendment to my campaign

My constituents have spoken and I have heard your pleas!

I offer the following amendments to my campaign promises:

I will:
- Increase teacher planning periods to three periods a day
- Offer increased support and funding to the Guidance Department, as well as Snickers bars daily
- Demand A’s from all students and offer “alternate educational opportunities” for any student not meeting this goal
- Triple the ESE department’s budget

Thank you for your support!

support emails continued to flood my mailbox. then last night i had an epiphany: a campaign poster! holy cow!

fifteen minutes later, my flyer was ready to be unleashed on the unsuspecting populace. this morning, the final email was sent:

From: Scott Rust
Subject: Final Push for Teacher of the Year Campaign

My Fellow Eagles -

Today marks a precipitous time in our school’s history. Students are unruly. Pay is stagnant. Benefits are being threatened. There exists no covered parking for teachers. Starbucks does not flow freely in our offices. Referrals don’t write themselves. And as I was campaigning yesterday, Kevin the Science Teacher echoed a sentiment we all share: I Want a Porsche!

Your vote for me as Teacher of the Year will guarantee a turnaround in these egregious conditions. My capricious promises will be fulfilled with your support!

Attached is a FREE CAMPAIGN POSTER that is suitable for framing, reminding you daily of my promises and good looks. Additionally, it can be used to wrap fish and line bird cages.

Vote early and vote often!

Scott
the ESE Lang. Arts Teacher

sometimes i just have too much fun with things.

now to write my acceptance speech!

i teach english at a high school with 2,000+ students. i love reading. i love seeing students read. i love reading to my students and encouraging them to read on their own.

so when i saw dozens of copies of the book Twilight floating around my school, and heard that the school library can’t keep any of it’s copies in stock, and that it is hopelessly on backorder for months and months to come, i was excited. i picked up the first volume at sam’s club 2 weeks ago, then found the next three books at a used bookstore for $5 each! woo-hoo!!

i knew i wasn’t going to be reading classical literature, but i was expecting something riveting and gripping (ala the golden compass / dark materials trilogy or harry potter) – something with a semi-universal appeal and writing that was clear, crisp, and moved along quickly.

i’m disappointed to tell you that it is none of those things.

it’s a love story, the central character being a teenage white girl living in a small town in washington state. the love interest? a “teenage” white vampire boy attending the same school. bella falls hard for edward and through the story, learns about his differences and is unconcerned. edward tries hard to push her away, and the ensuing “getting to know you” period is predictable.

the story itself isn’t awful, but the writing is. 230+ pages of repetitive descriptions of facial expressions (almost all of them “smirk” or some form of this, “smoldering” and “fierce”), ways of laughing (“chuckle”), gripping, and retorting – overused, overdescribed, and maddeningly unimaginative after the second or third use of the same adjective / adverb.

around page 230 the plot FINALLY throws a twist you can’t see coming. the descriptors finally take a backseat as the action starts up and doesn’t let up until the end. by then, however, it was too late. i was bored and hypersensitive to her choice of words and writing style. the ending was predictable, unrealistic, and trite.

my final vote: thumbs down.

let’s be fair, though. i’m pushing 40 years old. i’m a dude. i love reading. it’s not written for me. i understand that.

so let’s do this:
if you’re a white, teenage, suburban girl: this book is for YOU! go for it! read it and love it!!
if you’re a dude of any race, creed, or socio-economic makeup: RUN!! GET AWAY!!!

now, does anyone want to buy my four copies of this 4-book set?

after writing a referral on a student this past week for phone use, talking, and passing notes during class, the following conversation arose as the student tried to talk their way out of the referral:

student: this doesn’t even make sense! why would i be talking AND passing notes? this is why we were passing notes to begin with! geez!
me: uhh…

a conversation with a student today in one of my computer classes after a discussion about viruses:

me: are you having trouble answering that question?
student: yeah, the answer’s not in the book.
me: wait – are you telling me the book is asking you to answer a question it didn’t give the answer to in the first place?
student: yeah, it has a virus.

*outrageous laughter from me*
then the conversation continues after i show the student where in the book he can find the answer:

student: ohh! there it is!
me: no more virus?
student: no, you fixed it. the Rust Anti-Virus Program.

*more laughter*

i love teaching.

teaching at the high school level proves to be exciting. and frustrating.

and after a particularly frustrating wednesday, i woke up thursday as cranky as i had left the day before.

so i got to my class and wrote “cantankerous” on the board, offered extra points to anyone who got onto dictionary.com and found the definition, found several synonyms for the word, and wrote them on their paper.

this led to a productive discussion on being cantankerous, cranky, pissy, peevish, and disagreeable.

it also served as a warning.

but still.

some students took my last nerve.

and stomped all over it.

grrr.

after three weeks of teaching at pine forest high school

i woke up from a nightmare last night

where i was back at my school from last year.

*whew*

after posting weird christopher walken pics, acting goofy, and making some rather strange connections between unrelated things yesterday evening to my little brother, he finally says, “what the $&#! is wrong with you tonight? are you smoking something??”

the answer is: i’m bored.

lise and i typically have summers off together and we’re in places like cincy or d.c. where we know lots of people and do lots of things and typically are busier in summer than the rest of the year.

but this year she’s stuck working a crappy 9-5 job and we’re in a town where we know few folks.

and i’m honest to gosh bored.

i love the beach. for a pasty white boy, i have a tan that i never dreamt i could have. but you can still only spend so much time on the beach. i don’t watch tv. i’ve been reading. i’ve been playing guitar. i’ve been taking dolby out.

and sitting around waiting for lise to come home.

so if i strike you as a bit more off than usual…

i’m just bored.

*cue pity party*

answer #3: they take their big dogs to the bayview dog park down on the bay.

officially, dogs are not allowed on the beach down at pensacola beach. why? oh, i can think of some untrained / violent dog reasons as well as some stupid / uncaring / irresponsible owner reasons, but generally we disagree with this rule.

when we’re feeling compliant, however, we hit bayview. and today that’s what dolby and i did.

he does love to swim, that’s for sure. when we first moved here he didn’t know that he knew how to swim, so he was timid and very hesitant about getting in. now, however, he bounds in like a crazy mutt. for the hour+ we were there, he hardly took a step OUT of the water.

dolby’s a funny dog – he’s a big boy but he is also OWNED by most other dogs – even tiny ones. but when he’s in the water playing with his fire hose toy: bitch, please! you best keep your jaws OFF my bizness!

that big dog in the middle picture was trying to get a little too close and dolby stepped up! the dog backed down! i was shocked! amazed! proud!

at any rate, here in hot, summery p-cola, teachers take their dogs to the dog park for a cool swim.

Download Answer #2

answer #1:

play guitar with the amp cranked to 11.

one sucky thing about not having a house is this: when you’re in an apartment it’s difficult to just open it up and play loud. i mean, you’ve got people on both sides and they don’t want to hear you play cowboy junkies, green day, and neil young tunes at top volume, you know? there’s no accounting for taste, apparently.

this guitar is sweet – it was a graduation gift several years ago from my dad. fender telecaster special limited edition with a couple dimarzio humbuckers to add to the fun. now, i don’t claim to be a good guitarist by any measure, but there’s something about just going to town even if you’re not very good. when you get in the groove and you’re just going with it…

i’ve been using a small practice amp for a while but a year or so ago i was given a short stack of peavey amps that were going to be put out on the curb – folks, these things, when wired up and cranked, can shake windows! apartment living doesn’t allow for that either, but i can always pretend, right?

summer break is great for playing your guitar at full volume in the apartment. this is answer number one to the question: what do teachers in pensacola do all summer.

the kids finished up last friday but we’ve got several days of paperwork, meetings, training, room clearning, etc. before we’re finished for the summer.

i got some time friday with one of my girls who is painfully shy but such an incredible student that i wish i could have more like her. i took about 10 minutes while we were outside and really encouraged her, talked about the things that so impressed me about her, talked to her about how i know she feels like a fish out of water sometimes because she’s so shy but that other students were envious of her quiet and hard-working attitude, let her know that she’s one of the few students i could really say “you’ll do anything you want to do when you grow up if you keep up with the things you’re doing” – it was just a really good but too brief time together letting her know that she’s been a great student.

so this morning i’m in my room cleaning up, moving desks around, throwing BOXES of papers and trash away. hidden on my cart was a folded up piece of paper that i was 95% certain was just a note one student probably wrote to another last week that i took from them – you know how it is.

just as i’m about to throw the thing away, i decide to take a look at it.

and it’s a note, written friday morning just before the kids left, from this girl. it was written directly to me and included a picture of her folded up in the note, too.

here’s the note.

and this is what i’ll miss.

“mr. rust! you’re back!!”

i hear this squealed with joy by two of my girls tuesday morning just as i’m about to speak with our school’s data clerk.

“i’m back! how’ve things been while i was gone?”

“the sub was awful!” “so-and-so said this to that person!” “we didn’t even get to go outside!!” “please don’t go out of town again.” “can we please go outside today?” were among the overlapping responses from these two fifth graders.

“wow – ok, so things are ok, the sub was bad, she didn’t take you out, so-and-so is being nasty… anything else?”

“oh, yeah… ___________ got suspended for writing something really bad on someone’s shirt.”

“so i heard. sounds like ___________’s out for the rest of the year because of it.”

short pause…

“well, i guess we won’t have no more trouble the rest of the year now that she’s gone,” came one girl’s reply.

*data clerk unable to control her laughter in the background*

believe me, i tried. i tried hard. but unfortunately, the moment was so funny, the serious look on this young lady’s face so somber, i couldn’t help but laugh, too.

coming back from a two-day absence at school and having several of my students come and give me a hug, high-five me, and/or ask me how i’m doing / how the trip was. to think where we started out at the beginning of the year and seeing where we are now – this is pretty darn cool.

and it feels nice to have that relationship with them.

if i hear another admonition from my school’s administrators to “be flexible” while they continue to give last-minute warnings, announcements, “this must go home today,” schedule changes, and generally seemingly unplanned-for activities and/or meetings…

i’m afraid i’m going to have to transmogrify into stretch armstrong. it may be the only way i survive the needed flexibility.

seriously, with three administrators?

warning: beware the sound of foot being shot.

at a recent county-wide fifth grade field trip, my class ran into a former student of ours. a bully like none other, this student brought out the worst in fellow students and staff and it came to blows several times. no description could adequately explain the dynamic this kid brought to the class.

on the field trip, i talked with the student for a minute. the new teacher saw me talking and came up to me away from the kids. the exchange began:

him: hey, man. so you know __________?
me: yep. i was _________’s homeroom teacher the first half of this year.
him: ohh, ok! wow.
me: yeah, wow.
him: rough, huh?
me: yup.
him: want to take __________ back?
*me thinking about a professional response*
me: sorry, sir. you don’t have that kind of money.

we grinned slightly at each other, shook hands, clapped each other on the back, and went our separate ways.

…there’d be days like this.

after this school day ended with one of my students getting a 5 day suspension (apparently harper and i are f*cking fatasses and this needed to be shouted at top volume repeatedly while storming down the hallway), my whole class getting silent lunch (a very effective consequence – lunch is a huge part of the social life of my kids), my having tossed four students out of my room in the course of the day, my having to put my hands in my pockets to keep from doing this literally to one of them, my classes’ schedule getting changed daily, harper and i clinging to what little sanity remains, and my blood pressure reaching epic levels there was only one thing i could do to regain my head.

arriving at the beach, stripping in the car, changing, grabbing the bag and chair, i sat on the gulf and stewed. i lost count of the number of times i had to relax my jaw. and then i jumped in.

and it made all the difference. this is what i wrote when i got out 30 minutes later, thoroughly soaked, chilled, and relaxed:

about the only energy i have left in me is to get down to the beach, sit in the sun, swim in the waves, and repeatedly remind myself to unclench my jaw / stop grinding my teeth and try to remember why i got into teaching in the first place. honest to god, moving here was the right thing to do despite the financial ramifications and i’d do it again.

really. it feels that profound sometimes. i honestly can’t remember what i used to do to relax or come down from a bad day in the last couple years. it really seems to come down to needing the water / sand / waves to regain perspective that, for the longest time, was getting lost without a viable outlet.

a diamante, written by mr. rust’s class:

flowers
small pretty
smelling blooming picking
they smell wonderful. they smell disgusting.
stinking tooting embarrassing
stanky nasty
farts

when you need to come up with two things that are opposites, what’s more opposite than flowers and farts? hey, you’ve got to do something to keep their interest!

days like today and this past week

wear the hell out of me.

i get tired of playing psychologist at school.

teaching has many perks, not the least of which is having holidays off. good friday is on the school calendar and my plan was to spend most of it on the beach, reading, biking, etc. then thursday night, lise makes a few calls and finds that her office is going to be closed on friday! woo-woo!! a three day weekend TOGETHER!!

it started off on the right foot – we both slept in and caught up on the beauty rest. lise took the dog out for a good long walk, and we hung out with him until around noon.

then we were off.

we loaded our beach bag up, grabbed the cooler and hit the road. first stop: The Bead and Crystal House. lise has been working hard making earrings and other jewelry in the last few months and this place has a great selection of cool, unique beads to choose from. this does scott no good, of course, so while lise went shopping, scott went to joe patti’s seafood and loaded the cooler up with raw shrimp and some of their delicious spinach dip.

then it was off to captain joey patti’s seafood deli / restaurant. plastic spoons & forks, paper plates, bare bones surroundings, but some of the best and cheapest seafood in the area.

we ordered and devoured a bowl of their fantastic seafood gumbo…

and ate a basket of their catch-of-the-day, some hushpuppies, and baked beans. mmmm-mmm!

a side trip to wal-mart was needed as i had left all my sunscreen in my car. wal-mart is never a fun trip for me, but there was an ulterior motive involved:

hershey’s ice cream parlor is a block away from the one near perdido key. and i knew we needed some ice cream to get the lunch settled correctly. we’ve not been in months, but we’ve agreed for years that hershey’s makes the best freakin’ ice cream out there. we weren’t disappointed this time when we saw a new flavor: girl scout thin mint chocolate ice cream. oh. my. gosh. it was awesome. little chunks of real thin mint cookies all mixed up in there – it was heavenly.

next, we hit one of pensacola’s three tiny used bookstores. i had forgotten my book to take to the beach and had to have something to read! after much searching, snow falling on cedars was purchased, and we continued our trip to the beach!

it was a gorgeous day out – temps hit the low 70’s and the sun was out the entire day. the beach got chilly as the sun was going down an hour or so after we arrived, but that didn’t take away our enthusiasm for seeing the sunset.

being a relatively cloudless day, the sunset was not quite as spectacular as some, but it was still an awe-inspiring sight. we sat a bit after the sun disappeared, contemplated what a great day it had been so far, packed up our stuff and headed home to the big dog and some delicious shrimp just waiting to be cooked.

dinner was delicious. several years ago, my dad gave us a medium sized foreman grill – the old ones are a pain to clean as nothing detaches, but folks, when you want shrimp cooked right, the foreman is one good way of doing it. it was worth the cleaning job.

we ended our evening by catching up on Lost, season two. we’re late-comers to the whole Lost phenomenon and have been renting for the last couple weeks from netflix season one. that was finished on thursday. now we’re on season two and we’re hooked.

it was a good friday, indeed.

tomorrow the FCAT begins.

and my class is gonna kick its butt!

my students are a tough bunch. passionate and vocal about everything – happiness, anger, fights, bickering, petty squabbles – they don’t hold back and this is cause for a lot of trouble at times. there are moments when i love this loud passion and many times when it makes me want to scream.

this loud passion also causes the few quiet, introspective, reserved students to get lost in the shuffle of classroom dynamics. i frequently feel frustrated because i want to give them more attention but often cannot simply because they’re not being obnoxious loud and passionate enough to be noticed.

but one girl in particular has been a real powerful influence in our grade. she’s quiet. she’s smart because she works hard and studies. she’s not real popular with the other girls because she’s not in-your-face and doesn’t look like them, but she has a lot of admirers. she was the first student in harper’s class voted as student of the month because she follows all the rules, does all her work, goes out of her way to be helpful, is quite respectful to not only students but to teachers, too.

and she’s compassionate.

early in the year as i was trying to establish my relationship with the students, she wrote me notes several times to let me know when this or that student was “doing a good job” – meaning that i should make sure i praised / reinforced them.

she has drawn me pictures just out of the blue. she’s made pipe cleaner / ribbon things and given them to me. we have swapped seashells and told stories of how we found them.

a couple months into the year, she wrote me a page long note letting me know that some of my interactions with the students were making them unhappy because they felt i was making fun of them. she folded the note into an interlocking square and colored the outside of it bright colors and gave it to me quietly at the end of the class period. honestly, i’ve not felt so chastised as at that moment.

several weeks ago she asked me what my favorite candybar was – i told her hershey’s special dark and forgot about the conversation. a week or so later, she’s brought me a mini special dark bar.

all this to explain how i continue to learn about compassion:

last week i hit the store and found bags of skittles 2 for $.95 and bought several to use for incentives. harper’s class is the noisiest and most obnoxious and in need of the most incentives, so during a 30 minute period during which students were to be working independently on computers in the lab, i made the following offer: the two students who could be the most quiet during that half hour would get a bag of skittles.

and it was amazing. the whole class. dead quiet. honest! you could have heard a pin drop. i was literally flabbergasted and at odds as to how to distribute two bags of skittles.

so i picked the two students who get into the most trouble for talking and messing around, and in front of the whole class, pointed them out, complimented them on how hard they worked and how quiet they were, gave them their skittles and was ready to proceed to the playground for a bit.

the moans and groans from those who didn’t get the skittles were predictable. what was also predictable was seeing this young lady so happy for those two students that she was literally hopping in place in line, huge smile plastered on her face, and she was clapping.

two students who almost never get praised for anything looking at skittles like they’d won the lottery. eighteen students who were mad that they didn’t get the skittles, some complaining and wanting to know how / why these two got them, it’s not fair, how did you decide, etc.

and one girl who was thrilled to not get the skittles. thrilled that two others got them. so thrilled that she couldn’t contain her happiness for them and was clapping for them.

now fifth grade is fifth grade and she realized that she was getting The Look because of her compassion and caring and clapping – obviously she stopped, but the smile never left her face. and i knew i had made the right decision about giving those skittles away.

and i am continually taught about compassion and love from sources i don’t always expect to find it.

last week, two of my frequently misbehaving students were discussing with me the discipline that occurs at home. it was a light conversation that ended like this:

student 1: have you seen how they make the kids squat against the wall and put their arms straight out when they’re in trouble, like to punish you?

me: yeah, that would stink to have happen!

student 2: my daddy makes me do that when i’m bad. he gives you a whuppin’ if you put your arms down or sit before he tells you to.

me: wow – does that happen often?

student 2 (with pride in her voice): no! i don’t never get no whuppin’ – i can squat and hold my arms out a long time! i have to do it a lot!

student 1 and i exchange a look that i wish were caught on camera.

priceless.

today, at the top of an “enough! go-to-the-back-of-the-room and write-out-definitions-just-so-i-can-teach the students-who-give-a-rip” assignment:

“I can’t wait to go back to Mr. Harper’s class.”

to which there was only one possible reply:

amen, sister. amen.

but could i sit on the beach at the end of january barefoot, wear shorts and a t-shirt, grade papers and listen to the waves crash, feel the warm sand between my toes, have the sun beat down on me, watch the pelicans take headlong dives for a scaly supper, and marvel at the wonder of it all?

naw, didn’t think so.

a couple weeks ago i received a request from one of my students to go to the office with a small group of girls who were having an ongoing issue with another small group of girls – this other group had asked (and been granted) permission to go to the office to address some of these issues.

well, when the second group got wind of this, a passionate plea to go to the office to challenge this first group arose. i was on to what was going on and refused permission to this second group for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that i had much for them to do in my class!

this, obviously, was cause for whining and under-the-breath muttering in my direction. and obviously, i was physically unable to care less.

until the following note was given to me by one of the leaders of this small group of girls:

to which i had to stop everything and explain:

Dude! I AM cool!! when God was handing out the coolness, he gave me an extra handful in exchange for taking some of my hearing. “Is that ok with you, son?” God asked. “It’s cool with me, yo!” was my reply. COOL was going to be my middle name until my mom convinced my dad that it just wasn’t appropriate. the latest edition of Webster’s includes a small picture of me with the definition of cool. why, i’m so cool that some people from florida take vacations to MY HOUSE because the temperature is a full 20 degrees lower in its vicinity.

obviously, some of this was a revelation to my students, but now that we’ve got that settled, everything’s cool.

hee hee.

math is probably my least favorite subject of all possible school subjects. i’m just not that good at the more complex problems and have difficulty remembering formulas and other whatnot.

when i took the GRE back in january 2006, i scored way high in the language section and in the writing section. i knew i would. i love language and writing. but then on the math section, i ranked somewhere like the 18th percentile of all people taking the GRE. i suck and i know it.

there are many hoops to jump through while getting your florida teacher certification – one of the hoops is having to pay for and take the florida general knowledge test. it’s four parts – language skills, reading, essay, and math.

math. bleah.

i was so bored at the end of this christmas break (sixteen days off is too much for me, folks – i don’t entertain myself easily) that i scheduled the three parts of this exam that i could take on a computer for friday afternoon. i wasn’t nervous as i went into the test. i wasn’t nervous when i took the language skills exam. i wasn’t nervous when i took the reading exam.

but math.

oh, math. bleah. the first two sections of the test were 40 minutes each. the math (bleah) section? 100 minutes. and as i started it, i was ok. easy! no problem. hey, know this one, too! haha! hey, maybe i DO know math!!

and then. THEN i had to compute the slope of a line on an X,Y graph. i stared at it for a couple minutes, sweat pouring down my face, knuckles white on the mouse, teeth grinding with such intensity that a fine, white powder escaped my lips. i hit the MARK button that would allow me to quickly come back to it later, then hit next.

9c + 14 – 2(5c – 1) = ________________ (fill in part two on your own – i’ve blanked on it). four possible answers were given for the variable.

and my heart started beating too fast. loneliness and despair were kicking in. YOU SUCK AT MATH!! this was what was being played over and over in my head as i tried to work the problem out for each possible answer and none none none of them would plug in the way i thought it would.

i slapped myself in the face, grabbed myself by the chin and said, “cut it out! you can DO THIS! now quit being a wuss and GET TO WORK, SOLDIER!” and as i composed myself to the sound of the other test-takers “Shhh!”-ing, i confidently picked whichever answer looked the most interesting and went on.

and forty minutes later i walked shakily out of the room, unsure of my future. until the man behind the counter handed me three pieces of paper. language arts: PASS. reading: PASS. mathematics: PASS.

when i came to several minutes later, i was able to calculate that the radius of the bump received on my head was 1.5cm, making the diameter a full 3cm!!

don’t ask me for the circumference or i’ll beat you silly.

snark·y (snär’kÄ“)
adj. snark·i·er, snark·i·est Slang

1. Rudely sarcastic or disrespectful; snide.
2. Irritable or short-tempered; irascible.

[From dialectal snark, to nag, from snark, snork, to snore, snort, from Dutch and Low German snorken, of imitative origin.]

snark’i·ly adv.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

————————

say it outloud for the best effect. go ahead! do it! say, “snarky” – isn’t that a fun word? snark. snark. snarky. snnnnarrrky! haha! i love it! it sounds just bad enough that you wonder if it’s a curse word. it’s got a nice rough sound to it but it’s got some smooth flow to it, too – it’s just a nice combination of sounds and letters – it’s fun to say over and over!!

now, it wouldn’t be unfair to say that at my school, many snarky comments are made by the kids. to whom? to each other. to me. to anyone who will listen. last week i stopped one kid in his tracks just as he was about to shoot off some (snarky) comment in response to my having to redirect him for the third time. all i said was, “i can see you’d like to make some snarky comment right about now, but i highly advise that you keep it to yourself.” and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. i could tell that he was using the (context clues) knowledge that he was going make a smartass comment to try and figure out what snarky meant. i could also tell that he wasn’t exactly sure. and as the debate raged in his head, no snarky comments were made.

woo-hoo!! way to go, SNARKY!!!! (go ahead and say it again. you know you want to)

your homework this week: find a way to sneak the word snarky into a conversation. some suggestions?

“well, bob, there’s no reason to be snarky about it!”

“that’ll be the last snarky comment you make around this house, young man! go to your room!”

“snarky snarky snarky snarky snnnaarrrrrrrkyyyy!!!!!”

please be sure to turn your homework results in to this site by posting a comment on how you used it. please include the context of the conversation, the exact phrasing you used, and the reaction of the person to whom you said it. bonus points will be given if the recipient of the word asked you what snarky meant.

friday was the last day of school before christmas break and the kids, as you would expect, were antsy.

i lost track of the number of requests i received to “please, mr. rust, give us a free day today!” and the number of eyes they rolled when i replied, “wait… you’re getting SIXTEEN DAYS OFF SCHOOL and you want to come to school and get another?”

so motivation was an issue.

during my reading group, the first 20 minutes or so were quite lethargic and i knew i was going to have trouble actually starting a new lesson… but i had no choice. 55 minutes remained in my reading block and something had to be done. i told the class, “ok! find lesson nineteen in your reading books!” and was met with a very obnoxious chorus of wailing and protests. more begging ensued for a free day and my Biggest Whiner was taking it to a new level, threatening what little stability remained. we were reaching critical mass and i was starting to worry.

then i remembered that i still had a crate of cupcakes leftover from the previous days’ class christmas party. cupcakes that my kids didn’t know about.

without saying a thing, i nonchalantly strolled over to my closet, opened it and pulled out my crate of cupcakes. carrying it to the center of the class, i lowered it so all 17 of my reading students could see the brightly colored, icing laden, sugar-soaked goodies.

and Biggest Whiner, without taking his eyes off the cupcakes (or missing a beat), said: “suddenly i feel like reading, mr. rust!”

and as i laughed harder than i had in weeks, i thought, “oh, crap… where’m i gonna get a crate of cupcakes NEXT time?”

and i tell the truth here: my group spent 55 minutes busting their chops on that reading lesson. that, my friends, was the true icing on the cake.

…and my crazy face!”

this was my chorus today as students attempted to stomp on the last nerve in my body. again, at the crossroads of insanity and genius, i chose to make light of my predicament. i began rapping “a fist full of referrals and my crazy face” to students when things were getting out of hand or that “one kid” who always asks “those questions” raised his hand – and it was a hit. it kept me sane, defused a few potentially explosive situations, and got quite a few laughs as i hammed it up and wrote a few more lines while doing my best rap imitation.

so pictures were taken, edited and tweaked – next week, this is what will be plastered around the room as a warning…

i only wish i had my hoodie with me today. drat!

after a particularly ridiculous couple of days dealing with student and administration behavior that threatened to send me over the edge (and some might say actually did at a couple points), i sat down this afternoon and realized that the only way i would be able to drag myself back into that school tomorrow would be to absolutely make fun of / go nuts over the things i am so very pissed off at.

without further ado, i present to you The ____________ Elementary School Teacher Drinking Game.

enjoy. and please remember to educate responsibly: don’t drink and teach.

(click for the full size – click here for the PDF version)

just the thing

to get me through the day?

today, harper and i were given a planning day – subs were requested for our classes and we were jubilant over the prospect of catching up on paperwork and planning, not to mention being out of the room for the day.

but i’ve gotta tell ya: this is how i looked and felt at the end of the day. too many people bothering us, too many kids acting up, too many questions, too many new problems that had to be dealt with instead of planning or grading. i’d love to say that it was a great day but i’d be full of crap.

how long til christmas break??

—
edit: to be fair, things did get accomplished today – it was good to have the day to get those things squared away, but the original intent was for planning and because of constant interruptions, that did not happen. i’m tired of spending so damn much time up at school never getting caught up. classroom 305: my room // my prison.

i was talking with my friend mark a while back about teaching and teachers who made a difference in our lives. many days are spent at my school feeling as though i’m just a rule-machine, looking for someone to step out of line so that i can squash them with my evil consequences. we talked about those kids who are changed for the good despite how we feel we are (ineffective) as teachers.

one teacher in particular who changed my life was my sophomore english teacher at amelia high school: ms. ferguson.

i wasn’t a good student and wasn’t having a good time in high school up to this point. i had been in the hospital for a year and had to re-take my freshman year, was frustrated and bounced between feeling too smart or too stupid in my classes. i didn’t have good study habits, didn’t want to do the work, and generally made things difficult for my teachers.

enter ms. ferguson, charged with the unenviable task of teaching the classics to 15 year olds. we trounced into her class and awaited the harrowing first day’s torture.

and it never came.

oh, sure – we had to read the classics (great expectations, tale of two cities, red badge of courage, etc.) but ms. ferguson had a gift… she was excited to be with us. she was excited to teach. she looked forward to having us in her class.

she acted. she gestured. she smiled. she frowned. she recited. she danced. she articulated.

she put on mini-plays while reading to us, acting all of the parts, standing on chairs and putting on dramatic airs as she went. she roamed around the room. she called on us even as we hid behind whatever we could find. she dragged us kicking and screaming into seeing that the classics didn’t have to suck.

but what convinced me of ms. ferguson’s coolness was this:

she made us do writing journals. three times a week we had to turn in our journals to her and she would write back to us, make comments, or sometimes just left them blank. we were allowed to write anything we wanted to, as long as we wrote something. some students wrote directly to her. others wrote stories or poems or observations.

i don’t remember much about what i wrote, but i do remember HATING this part of the class. i didn’t know what to write!! i HATED to write!! my hand cramped up, i was embarrassed to let someone else read my crappy writing, i felt stupid – it was an awful thing!

one day early in that semester during study hall, i realized that i forgot to write in my journal and it was due the next period. panic set in and my stomach clenched as i thought about how i could get out of turning the notebook in.

but then.

then i thought, “hey! just write some song lyrics in there and she won’t know any better!”

so i decided to write out pink floyd’s “two suns in the sunset” lyrics from the final cut album. it was a favorite of mine, despite the album itself not being one of their better ones.

In my rear view mirror the sun is going down
Sinking behind bridges in the road
And I think of all the good things
That we have left undone
And I suffer premonitions
Confirm suspicions
Of the holocaust to come.

The rusty wire that holds the cork
That keeps the anger in
Gives way
And suddenly it’s day again.
The sun is in the east
Even though the day is done.
Two suns in the sunset
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Could be the human race is run.

Like the moment when the brakes lock
And you slide towards the big truck
You stretch the frozen moments with your fear.
And you’ll never hear their voices
And you’ll never see their faces
You’ll have no recourse to the law anymore.

And as the windshield melts
And my tears evaporate
Leaving only charcoal to defend.
Finally I understand the feelings of the few.
Ashes and diamonds
Foe and friend
We were all equal in the end.

well, i quickly scribbled these lyrics out just in time for the bell to ring. immensely proud of myself for having beaten my teacher in her attempt to force me to write original things, i turned in my notebook and enjoyed the rest of the class.

and the next day – oh. my. god. i’ll never forget it as long as i live.

ms. ferguson hands us our writing journals back and i flip to the page with the lyrics written on them and there’s only one thing written there: Hmmmmmmmmmm… it was about half way down the page and she’d drawn a line between two of the lines in the song, pointing to her comment.

i had forgotten to include the humming part of the song.

and ms. ferguson liked pink floyd.

and. she. caught. me.

and i was both mortified and awestruck. i fell in love with ms. ferguson that day – not just because she liked pink floyd, but because i saw her as an individual who enjoyed what she did. she cared about us. she wasn’t trying to “catch us” writing someone else’s stuff – she wanted us to get used to the process of writing. she wanted us to enjoy writing and see what powerful change can be exacted by writing. she wanted us to read the classics and see what those old dusty books with their archaic words and structure told us today not just bygone days.

i fell in love with more than just ms. ferguson that semester: i fell deeper in love with reading and i fell deeper in love with writing – things that have stuck with me 24 years later. and now i teach English at the high school level, too. and yes: i torture my students with writing journals, too.

thanks, ms. ferguson – you rock.

our school does 4 20-minute focus lessons daily in the areas of writing, math, science, and reading. teachers are given the focus for each week, then left to their own devices on how they’re going to teach and what materials they’re using.

this week’s focus for reading is synonyms – words that have similar meanings. i put together a couple pages on my SmartBoard (interactive projector that shows the entire class what’s on the computer) talking about synonyms, asking them for their definition, then using the definition found on dictionary.com. i then had them give examples of synonyms and we were having a grand old time.

i made sure they understood that it’s easy to say something like, “Mr. Rust is happy.” but that taking it to the next level, making it interesting for our readers, you need to drop the mundane and use synonyms. i gave an alternate word for “happy” then said, “hey! let’s get on to thesaurus.com and look at all the different words we could replace happy with!”

and i did.

and some of the words made the kids scratch their heads. others made them laugh, like when i said, “if i said, ‘Mr. Rust is chipper!’ instead of our boring sentence using ‘happy,’ wouldn’t that make this sentence more exciting?”

“what does ‘chipper’ mean, Mr. Rust?” was the response.

and being the intelligent teacher i am, i said, “we’re on dictionary.com – let’s check!” and the result was this:

well, this is all cool, right? we’re having a great, entertaining LEARNING experience! woo! mr. rust RULES!! OH yeah!!

so i’m explaining chipper, acting the part, etc. and one of the kids says, “what does ’sprightly’ mean?” and i begin to explain, but then, in my massive intelligence, i thought, “wait!! you’ve got dictionary.com right here!”

so i plug in “sprightly” and this is what i and the whole class sees on the SmartBoard:

and i hit the word “gay” and the class was like…

OMG!! you’re GAY?

haha. i quickly moved on and thought it was over. but then at lunch a student came over and said, “Mr. Rust, someone said you said you was gay.”

and i realized: teaching on the fly is fun but potentially costly.

but i’m still chipper and sprightly.

one rule i have in my class is that during instructional time (i.e. while i’m in front teaching) there is no leaving to go use the bathroom. the breaking of this rule is frequently attempted with such phrases as, “pleeeease, Mr. Rust!” and “it’s an emergency! you don’t want me to pee in the classroom, do you?” (which sorely tempts me, but…).

at any rate, some of the kids know the correct combination of phrases, facial expressions, and bodily “moves” that will break my will on this rule.

most do not.

this past week brought the best attempt yet. picture this:

we’d just finished several weeks of review work that included looking at declarative, imperative, interrogative, and exclamatory sentences, their rules, usage, and much practice. the first test on this was a terrible failure and i gave a second test two days later just to make sure (much better results).

it’s monday. a bad day. frustrated with behaviors, i’m teaching my homeroom on the Smartboard new grammar stuff when one of my pain-in-the-rear kids raises his hand with a note in it for me.

while still teaching, i walk over, take the note from him, ready to ignore the question inside it.

the note reads:
“I need to go real bad. Can I please go to the bathroom? (interrogative sentence)”

i laughed so hard i almost went to the bathroom myself.

i wrote back to him:
“now that’s just pathetic!”

and i let him break my rule.

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my florida teaching certificate came in the mail yesterday.

i’m thinking of writing “Return to Sender” on it and sending it back.

hee hee.

it’s 8:30am

my classroom is completely silent

and it’s deafening

the kids are taking an FCAT simulation

i’m eating up the lack of noise

and hoping they’re doing their best

students in my room suspended: 9
students i wish were suspended: 17
students in class: 25
lighters found: 2
new grey hairs found: 78
lost hairs: (statistics not available)
anonymous notes from students telling me they hate me: 4
resignation letters written: 2
resignation letters turned in: 0
been talked off the ledge: 8
said, “stop talking” or variation: 2,361
student looks of concern over teacher’s maniacal laughter: 211
principal says, “scott, you’re ok – put the knife down”: 5
paper airplanes confiscated: (statistics not available)
fights: 4
desks / seats moved: 74
sat in room thinking i’ve made a terrible mistake: 15
smiles from students: 2,362
notes from students telling me i’m the best teacher ever: 9
paper airplanes with “to mr. rust, best teacher” received: 4
students i love: 25

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