rustypants speaks

dunno about you, but if i were looking for an online college and ran across the following ad, i’d run quickly in the opposite direction.

doesn’t anyone proof these before they’re put out, or is it just that no one notices except folks with grammar fetishes?

where’s my red ink Internet pen when i need it??

anyone who can not only point out the error but also:

• explain why it’s incorrect and
• fix the error

will have their name put in a hat and i will draw one name for the following prizes:

• a sheet of sparkly star stickers to show your friends how smart you are!
• a Santa hat viciously ripped off the top of a dog toy by my dog!
• a couple of beautiful seashells pulled straight out of the Gulf of Mexico!
• an autographed picture of my shrinking manboobs!

to be eligible to win said prizes, you must live in the continental US.

Deadline: Midnight (Central time) on Tuesday August 25, 2009. NO CHEATING! don’t read the other comments until you’ve made your own!

baker college online? you’ll never have me as a student.

snark·y (snär’kÄ“)
adj. snark·i·er, snark·i·est Slang

1. Rudely sarcastic or disrespectful; snide.
2. Irritable or short-tempered; irascible.

[From dialectal snark, to nag, from snark, snork, to snore, snort, from Dutch and Low German snorken, of imitative origin.]

snark’i·ly adv.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

————————

say it outloud for the best effect. go ahead! do it! say, “snarky” – isn’t that a fun word? snark. snark. snarky. snnnnarrrky! haha! i love it! it sounds just bad enough that you wonder if it’s a curse word. it’s got a nice rough sound to it but it’s got some smooth flow to it, too – it’s just a nice combination of sounds and letters – it’s fun to say over and over!!

now, it wouldn’t be unfair to say that at my school, many snarky comments are made by the kids. to whom? to each other. to me. to anyone who will listen. last week i stopped one kid in his tracks just as he was about to shoot off some (snarky) comment in response to my having to redirect him for the third time. all i said was, “i can see you’d like to make some snarky comment right about now, but i highly advise that you keep it to yourself.” and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. i could tell that he was using the (context clues) knowledge that he was going make a smartass comment to try and figure out what snarky meant. i could also tell that he wasn’t exactly sure. and as the debate raged in his head, no snarky comments were made.

woo-hoo!! way to go, SNARKY!!!! (go ahead and say it again. you know you want to)

your homework this week: find a way to sneak the word snarky into a conversation. some suggestions?

“well, bob, there’s no reason to be snarky about it!”

“that’ll be the last snarky comment you make around this house, young man! go to your room!”

“snarky snarky snarky snarky snnnaarrrrrrrkyyyy!!!!!”

please be sure to turn your homework results in to this site by posting a comment on how you used it. please include the context of the conversation, the exact phrasing you used, and the reaction of the person to whom you said it. bonus points will be given if the recipient of the word asked you what snarky meant.

…and my crazy face!”

this was my chorus today as students attempted to stomp on the last nerve in my body. again, at the crossroads of insanity and genius, i chose to make light of my predicament. i began rapping “a fist full of referrals and my crazy face” to students when things were getting out of hand or that “one kid” who always asks “those questions” raised his hand – and it was a hit. it kept me sane, defused a few potentially explosive situations, and got quite a few laughs as i hammed it up and wrote a few more lines while doing my best rap imitation.

so pictures were taken, edited and tweaked – next week, this is what will be plastered around the room as a warning…

i only wish i had my hoodie with me today. drat!

• many thanks to the folks calling, emailing, texting to make sure lise and i were ok after the tornado ripped it’s way through pensacola on thursday. it got within 8 blocks or so of my school and we lost power from 10:15am through the end of the school day, but there was no damage and no one was hurt. definitely made for an interesting day, though!
• funny thing about the tornado: lise and i had NO IDEA that a tornado was going through until my dad sent me a text message saying he saw on the news (in CINCINNATI!) about it and wanted to make sure we were ok. even at the school, we didn’t know.
• many folks are asking how we’re doing since the news we received last wednesday and the answer is: we’re as ok as we can be. we’ve decided to stay the course down here and see where it leads us, but it won’t be without pain and (obviously) sacrifices we weren’t thinking we’d need to make. we’re ok.
• i finished reading Roots by Alex Haley a couple weeks ago. i remember watching the miniseries on TV waaay back in the 70’s when i was a wee lad and it must’ve made an impression on me – as i read the book i very easily visualized scenes and remembered in some cases what was coming next. it was a very good book, despite the apparent “controversies” surrounding Haley and the writing. recommended reading.
• florida has a Sunshine State Young Reader’s Award that is voted on and given each year. our librarian walked each class through this years books and i was so impressed that i took some of our classroom money and bought a couple copies to read aloud and share with the students – two standouts from the list include The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane and A House of Tailors. both are excellent books with edward tulane being my favorite.
• we’ve kept with our decision to not watch any television and have been watching a lot of movies recently. we’ve also discovered Scrubs again for the first time. we’ve seen maybe one or two shows a season but always seemed to be busy the night it’s on – we rented season three and laughed our butts off. i love dr. cox.
• hollywood video is going out of business in several locations here in p-cola, and i stumbled on their liquidation sale at one store – all dvd’s were $1.99! now, there weren’t that many left, but i did end up with 12 movies, several of which are absolute favorites – the biggest of them being Cinema Paradiso. this movie won the best foreign film Oscar back in 1988 – lise and i saw it last year for the first time and we were totally floored with how incredible it was. what a sweet and touching movie! finding the director’s cut version for $1.99 made my week.
• red tide has hit the gulf coast in our area and it’s made it nearly impossible to go to the beach this week. we went last saturday and as we got out of the car, i said, “something doesn’t smell right” – dead fish floating all over and the water was a murky brackish green color. it’s spread up and down the coast and is still affecting the water. seafood friday is still on the schedule for tonight but i’m not sure how long we’ll be on the beach. :-(
• no bites on the house yet. may end up dropping the price yet again – at this point we’re losing more money than it’s worth, but dropping the price means we’ll lose even more. gosh, we just didn’t think it’d take this long!
• we’ve got a birkenstock store here in pensacola that’s bigger than any we’ve been in yet. it’s called comfort zone and one thing that makes it unique is that they have a LARGE “discount” section – we’ve NEVER seen this before from a birk dealer. i found a pair of waterproof birkenstock sandals, normally priced at around $180, for only $19.95. they’re fantastic! woo!! nothing like being flat broke and being able to say you bought a new pair of birkenstocks, yo.
• i’m heading out of school to hit maria’s seafood for some shrimp, then heading home to pick up the wife. be well and thanks for reading.