where did the year go?

one highlight: teaching Steinbeck’s The Red Pony and riding my “pony” through class, yee-hawing at the top of my lungs each period. thoroughly embarrassed the crap out of my students. it was good.

if i’ve not said it recently: i love teaching. i love teaching English. i love teaching high school English.

Beach Daydreams, my man? from scott rust on Vimeo.

“So, what do you DO out there while you sit on Pensacola Beach?” they ask me.

“Daydream, usually,” is my reply.

“Daydream about WHAT?”

Here’s the answer.

2010 South Bend Urban Adventure REDUX from scott rust on Vimeo.

My cousin, Christine, and I ran the 2010 South Bend Urban Adventure Race together – this is a goofy video of the results of that race.

Shot entirely on a cheap Sony Cyber-shot camera, this film was not planned in any way. Due to rain early on, I wasn’t even sure we’d be able to take pictures. That we ended up with this much decent footage was a major surprise. Enjoy! (or not!)

http://www.urbanadventuregames.com/

This video was edited using Adobe Premiere.

Posted via email from rustypants’s posterous

but it just about got me while i was cutting the grass.

thick, sticky, huge web from the magnolia tree to the ground. thought i was a goner. figured lise would look out the window hours later wondering where i was and see this monster sucking away at my juices.

bleah.

there he is! he’s trying to get a toke off scott’s great-grandpa’s meerschaum pipe!

silly satan! nevermind that it reminds you of the sweet fires of home! don’t you know that smoking will kill you?

the average daytime temp in december is around 65° – water temp in the Gulf is pretty close to that, too.

now, when we pulled out of cincinnati, the temperature was 22° and snow was on the ground. we know cold, right? coming to pensacola was like driving into summer – incredible! 43° difference – we may as well have been on another planet!

shorts, sandals, t-shirts all around. sure, we packed pants and pullovers for evening, but during the day? psh!

half way through the week we’re in our swimtrunks, out in the water, hunting for shells, amazed that we’re the only ones on the beach a mile in either direction. we’re drenched and loving every minute of it. pure heaven!

a lone figure appeared, shuffling across the sand in our direction. we didn’t think anything of it until the figure came closer: it was an older woman, dressed in multiple pairs of pants, a pair of winter boots, and a long winter coat with a fur lined cap pulled tightly over her head. on her hands were a thick, warm pair of gloves. it was obvious that she was quite cold.

it’s like the Far Side cartoon with the dinosaur and the walnut-sized brain somehow able to walk through an open field and bonk its head against the only tree visible in any direction – she was heading right for us. to be polite, i got out of the water and lise and i were ready for whatever she might be asking.

she approached us, looked us up and down, and stated in no uncertain terms, “Y’all Yankees.”

well, what could we do? lise and i looked at each other and got the giggles – not the rude kind, but the oh-darn-we-been-caught kind.

she looked us over again, shook her head and said, “Ain’t nobody here in Pensacola that’d be caught in the water this time o’ year. Y’all Yankees.”

and i turned to the woman and said, “well, i reckon so.”

thank goodness we americans have our priorities straight.

few things satisfy that need for a manly testosterone-fueled adrenaline rush like firing up the old chainsaw and hacking away at poor defenseless trees.

he’s cooling off with a scoop of Graeter’s ice cream! nothing says respite from eternal damnation like a bowl of Buckeye Blitz! enjoy it, you little devil, then get thee hence!

me wifey has bluey eyes

she coming after me

that explainey – full moony!

Win prizes and literary fame in the PFHSÂ Staff Haiku Contest!

Well, maybe not literary fame, but hey – prizes! Bragging rights!

The History:
I write haiku to keep from going insane. I keep a notebook with me in my backpack where I write my haiku as a way to keep my cool in the face of adversity and frustration (read: students and school politics, etc.). It’s a quick, fun, and easy little trick that I can do right in the classroom as I catch my breath, grind my teeth, and try to keep my hands from grabbing someone’s throat.

What Is Haiku:
Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that consists of 17 total syllables split into three lines with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the 2nd line, and 5 syllables in the third line. This is a simplified explanation of something that can easily be Googled, but for the purpose of this contest, the above makes sense, right?

Examples:
Last Friday was a bad day for me. 2/3 of the way through the day, I wrote the following haiku:

(5 syllables) Thank God it’s Friday?
(7 syllables) Hah! I laugh with contempt and
(5 syllables) Write mass referrals.

I write haiku when good things happen, too. The following examples include both good and not so good:

My boss, Frank Murphy
The best principal on earth!
Keep my job next year?

Awful Seventh class!
Rust stuck it to them, and how!
No compassion here.

Valentine’s Day is
anniversary of our
agreement to wed!

A friend of mine also writes haiku and we sometimes email each other with them:

The stone we do roll…
A task so Sisyphean…
Whiskey’s the answer!Â

And now, The Contest:
Be creative! Write some haiku! They can be funny, serious, concerned, worried, angry – whatever tone you want them to have! The only rules are:

1. Be sure to stay within the confines of 17 syllables broken into a 5-7-5 pattern.
2. Make your haiku school-related.
3. Submit as many haiku as you want!

Submit / email your school related haiku to me before the end of business Thursday (February 26) and my distinguished panel of judges and I will award prizes for the top three haiku, and several honorable mentions.

The Prizes (see attached picture for each item in all its glory):
1st place will receive a pack of six handy Office Door Hangers with messages like: Out To Lunch (and short a sandwich); Meeting In Progress (the practical alternative to work); Bad Day In Progress (enter at your own risk); and three others! Use these door hangers to warn students and staff of your current disposition!
2nd place will receive Nunzilla! This fire-breathing wind-up sister trudges straight out of a Catholic school student’s nightmare like a determined disciplnary force, with green eyes blazing and sparks flying from her mouth!
3rd place will receive a lightly used Continental Airlines Barf Bag / Seat Occupied sign.
Honorable Mentions will receive a strand of Mardi Gras beads caught and harvested this past Saturday morning on the streets of downtown Pensacola.

Go ye therefore and write!

Scott

so far? the entries are quite good!

there he is! he’s doing his frank sinatra impression
while singing, “fly me to the moon!”

silly satan! viable souls are only found on earth!

why there he is! he’s in cincinnati making fun of the tyler-davidson fountain!

silly satan! don’t you know that inanimate objects can’t be damned for all time??

scott and i managed to swipe a bottle of old granddad and were out on a saturday night, mercifully without a curfew. we’d been driving, without the drinking, but now our master plan was to be enacted.

we pulled into the I-275 theater on the east side of cincinnati where every saturday night was a midnight showing of some concert film.

tonight’s film?

pink floyd’s The Wall. we’d been singing it in the car at the top of our lungs for the past year or so but had never seen the movie.

we sat in the parking lot and hit the bottle for a while, getting a buzz on. and then went a bit further.

we bought our tickets, grabbed seats in the mostly empty theater and settled in for what we were sure was going to be an incredible, mind-altering ride through one of the greatest albums ever made.

and all i can say now, even 23 years after the fact, is this:

the shaving scene had us stuttering like sylvester in a crazy, mouse-infested haunted house.

we were still twitching while the credits were rolling.

i never drank old granddad again.

the movie still disturbs me.

yeeeesh!!

on the day of the vote, i sent out this final push to my school:

My friends -

Early poll results are showing a precipitous drop in support for my candidacy for Teacher of the Year. Must I cross my fingers and reiterate my capricious campaign promises from last week? Is that Crow woman able to sway your support so easily? This smear campaign waged by my opponent is a distortion of the exemplary record I manufactured and have run on these five days.

Do you really want a year of being represented by some librarian who dyes her hair blue? Or a science teacher with ray bans making what is surely some secret sign of the devil with his fingers?

Please: consider the alternatives, then reach the only acceptable conclusion: this hearing impaired, ESE-teaching, Ohio Yankee transplant representing our fine school would show a tolerance and acceptance not seen in other schools. Consider the barriers we can break and the unity we can build… together as I reach across the aisle and work with my non-hearing-impaired, Southern counterparts.

Thank you for your support, and God bless the PF Eagles -

Scott Rust

sadly, this final push came to naught, and finally, after the dust settled and the votes were counted, none of the three of us won – a much more worthy teacher took top prize. my concession email was sent the following day:

My friends, we have come to the end of a long journey. The PFHS staff have spoken, and they have spoken clearly. A little while ago, I had the honor of emailing ____ ______ to congratulate her on being elected the next Teacher of the Year of the school that we both love.

I am so deeply grateful to all of you for the great honor of your support and for all you have done for me. I wish the outcome had been different, my friends. I hope for a kinder, gentler Pine Forest with a thousand points of light. A kinda mavericky school. And today, I call on all Eagles to not despair of our present difficulties but to believe always in the promise and greatness of PFHS, because nothing is inevitable here. Furthermore, I pledge to do all in my power to help Ms. ______ lead us through the many challenges we face.

In closing, I offer you my final 2008 TotY Campaign poster and pray you will print it, post it, and always remember the year that a Deaf Yankee ESE teacher was candidate for the highest office in PFHS.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless PFHS.

Scott

there’s always next year!

he’s tempting fate by dancing on the head of an angel!

bad satan sockpuppet!!

THE WORLD IS NOT SCHEDULED TO END YET!

PLEASE TAKE A BREATH!

(and maybe a pill)

kthxbye.

“nominate yourself!” i thought to myself. a few minutes of deliberation and a few more minutes to formulate an email launching my one-day campaign and i was on the campaign trail! the following email was sent to the entire school:

From: Scott Rust
Subject: If you vote for me as Teacher of the Year…

…I promise to:

- Lower your taxes
- Increase departmental budgets
- Give each teacher a laptop
- Demand an additional 10 days leave per year
- Maintain defense spending for PFHS
- Boost technology spending (SmartBoards for EVERYONE!)
- Wash your car each Friday before 3:35
- Put mints on your desk each morning
- Negotiate a treaty with Russia
- Guarantee each printer and copier has toner / ink
- Eliminate behavior problems in the student body
- Research self-writing referrals
- Switch to a robo-call system for the Deans making phone calls home

My platform goals can be found at:

http://www.scottrust4PFHS-TotY.com/

Thank You, and God Bless PFHS -

Scott

the response was insane. i was inundated with pledges and promises of votes, and also fielded other requests to add to my campaign promises. after some discussion with my advisers, a second email was sent at the end of the day:

From: Scott Rust
Subject: Amendment to my campaign

My constituents have spoken and I have heard your pleas!

I offer the following amendments to my campaign promises:

I will:
- Increase teacher planning periods to three periods a day
- Offer increased support and funding to the Guidance Department, as well as Snickers bars daily
- Demand A’s from all students and offer “alternate educational opportunities” for any student not meeting this goal
- Triple the ESE department’s budget

Thank you for your support!

support emails continued to flood my mailbox. then last night i had an epiphany: a campaign poster! holy cow!

fifteen minutes later, my flyer was ready to be unleashed on the unsuspecting populace. this morning, the final email was sent:

From: Scott Rust
Subject: Final Push for Teacher of the Year Campaign

My Fellow Eagles -

Today marks a precipitous time in our school’s history. Students are unruly. Pay is stagnant. Benefits are being threatened. There exists no covered parking for teachers. Starbucks does not flow freely in our offices. Referrals don’t write themselves. And as I was campaigning yesterday, Kevin the Science Teacher echoed a sentiment we all share: I Want a Porsche!

Your vote for me as Teacher of the Year will guarantee a turnaround in these egregious conditions. My capricious promises will be fulfilled with your support!

Attached is a FREE CAMPAIGN POSTER that is suitable for framing, reminding you daily of my promises and good looks. Additionally, it can be used to wrap fish and line bird cages.

Vote early and vote often!

Scott
the ESE Lang. Arts Teacher

sometimes i just have too much fun with things.

now to write my acceptance speech!

there he is! he’s having a little chat with Jesus about that
whole “cast into a herd of pigs” incident!

why there he is! on the beach soaking up some rays
after a long day harvesting souls!

it’s only fair to share it with you. (just click on the Audio MP3 button below to listen)

Download The Boa Constrictor Song – Peter, Paul and Mary