Category Archives: frustration

Bike Commuter vs. Motorist Confrontations

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I rarely get the opportunity to confront drivers who lay on their horns, buzz me, or otherwise make my commute difficult. Back in March, I had one morning ride that was different.

As I’m approaching my school on a VERY narrow, 20′ long concrete bridge, a driver laid on their horn for about 10 seconds (before, during, and after passing). As I’m giving my customary middle finger, I notice this woman is on her cell phone, which only adds to my irritation. With my school in sight, I continue pedaling when I notice that the 20MPH SCHOOL ZONE flashers are lit, and I manage to actually catch up to her as she has been forced to slow down. To add to my irritation, she pulls in to the school next to mine and is obviously not a student.

I pulled in after her and, as she slammed to a stop upon seeing me, I said, “Seriously? Laying on your horn at me while you’re talking on your phone and driving? What were you trying to prove?” Her response: “You need to get your fucking ass out of the road!” while wagging her finger at me, STILL ON THE PHONE. I asked her where she felt I ought to go, given that there are no sidewalks and no curb space in this area, when I realized that nothing good will come of the conversation. She continued hollering at me, I said a few choice words at her, and took off. She parked as I continued riding by, and for good measure, she laid on the horn again.

I hate this kind of confrontation for a number of reasons, the biggest being that it accomplishes nothing, and actually may serve to make things worse. By saying it may “make matters worse”, I’m not only suggesting that she will hate all cyclists to the end of time due to my reaction, but also that there is only one way for me to get to school from home – the area is not residential and you’re forced through a narrow bottleneck. Obviously, I’m going to be seeing her again (and there’s little doubt she’s probably already seen me before). This time it was her horn and yelling. Next time might be…?

During my planning period, I put this together: http://goo.gl/1KzIQ and wrote a very brief, unfelt apology for my reaction to the whole thing, rode over and put it under her wiper blades. I expected nothing in return for it (and actually was concerned it might make her more angry, even with the apology).

Two days later on my morning on the ride in, at almost the exact same spot as before, this woman passed me again, but this time there was no horn honking or exchanges of words.

As much as it pissed me off that I included an apology note with the Florida Traffic Laws for Cyclists and put it under her wiper, it apparently did some good. This alone made it worthwhile to me (as long as it continues).

How do you deal with this type of confrontation? Or do you engage this type of driver at all?

Action vs. Reaction

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How about this:

Instead of getting all worked up & upset about a verdict in a case which you only know about due to 24/7 continuous coverage from biased media outlets, why don’t you sponsor a child via www.worldvision.org or give to www.amnesty.org to help others. Or choose from hundreds of other excellent organizations that help provide shelter, relief, counseling, etc.

It’s SO much more rewarding (& helpful) than just pissing, moaning, then moving on to the next big manufactured story you’re supposed to get upset about.

Now, in another venue I was just asked, “Good links, but why poo poo on everyone for being upset?”

And my response is this:

Because most of us get worked up over things we have no control over, things we’ve been told to get worked up over, but we ignore people & situations that we CAN help. We get more upset about this than the fact that there are thousands of other children/people in need that we are able to do something about. Why? It’s easier, less messy, and more convenient. We take 10 seconds, think up / spew out some righteous anger on Facebook or Twitter, then we go find out what’s for dinner.

I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t get upset about this, but my goodness! Comments from folks who wish she were dead, hope she gets killed, would like to kill her, can’t wait ’til she “gets hers” – let’s do something positive in response to this perceived injustice, not just rant and rave, then wait to see what the next thing is we’re to get upset about.

Pensacola Animal Control + Sheriff’s Office = worthless

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After having been bit by a dog (no collar / no license) this afternoon while riding my bike, having confronted the owner and gotten some BS from her, I got the number for Animal Control and the following conversation took place:

“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I was bit by a dog and…”
“OK. This is not animal control. That number changed back in November.”
“Ok. You have the new number?”
“That office isn’t open until Tuesday.”
“Uh…”
“Here, I’ll transfer you to the Sheriff’s dept.”
*click*

“Officer so-and-so, can I help you?”
“Dog bite, etc. etc.”
“Uh. OK. Do you want an officer to contact you?”
“No, but the bite broke the skin, blood, swelling, etc.”
“Um. Well, Animal Control is who you want to call, then.”
“Wha? They don’t open til Tuesday.”
“Yes.”
“…”
“Let me transfer you…”
*click*

“Officer so-and-so, blah blah blah”
“Dog. Bite. Blood. Swelling. Etc.”
“Animal Control, yada yada, blah blah blah”
“Is this some kind of joke?”
“Sir, I don’t know what you want us to do…”
“I’d kinda like to know if the unlicensed, uncollared dog that BIT ME is rabid, sick, etc.”
“Well, sir, you’ll need to call Animal Control on Tuesday morning…”
“What in the Hell…?”
*click*

A personal message to BP / Oil on Pensacola Beach (Day 1)

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During our Saturday trip to Pensacola Beach today, we got our first glimpse of what’s here, and what’s to come with the oil spill in the Gulf.

Using some of their product, I have tried to articulate how we and many of our friends here in Pensacola feel about BP and the oil spill / death of millions of animals / destruction of habitats / screwing over of lives:

fuck BP, basically. their message to me is the same, however. damn oil spill.

To be certain, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The blobs of oil we saw / stepped in / couldn’t avoid today were nothing compared to what’s a couple miles off shore, and even that is nothing compared to what’s slowly moving our way.

BP oil from oil spill found on Pensacola Beach 6-5-2010

To say that we’re heartbroken doesn’t even begin to cover it.

We’re heartbroken for the wildlife that is being killed by this tragedy. We’re heartbroken for the lives ruined (those killed on the rig; the families left behind; those whose businesses and dreams are shattered; those of us who live on the Gulf coast who will be directly and indirectly affected financially for many years to come).

And we’re heartbroken for selfish reasons, too. When Lise and I moved here back in 2007, we did so for mental health reasons and because we had fallen in love with Pensacola Beach. Many long-time residents we’ve friended here think we’re somewhat crazy – coming to the beach three, four, even five times a week is not unusual for us. We watch the sunset. We collect shells. We sit together and dream dreams. We watch pelicans, terns, and other seabirds fly and live. We watch dolphins, schools of fish, sharks, cownose stingrays, and a vast number of other sealife swim with what seems to us like carefree abandon. We swim. We love. We are still in awe of the incredible diversity that the seasons bring to the shoreline. The peace and comfort we receive just being in the presence of the Gulf shore is indescribable.

BP oil from oil spill found on Pensacola Beach 6-5-2010

Taking pictures today of Pensacola Beach littered with the first wave of tar balls / oil blobs hurt. Picking up a small amount of the oil and seeing how difficult it is to get that shit off of my hands was shocking. I still have oil stuck under / around my fingernails after washing my hands several times.

We’ve both cried. I’m sure we’ll be crying more. The pictures coming out of Louisiana are so painful that I’ve had to stop looking at them. The ramifications for our future here (mental health, financial, job-wise, etc.) are so shocking that we’ve not been able to have a coherent conversation about it yet. But we’re going to have to face this soon.  I don’t know how we’re going to be able to stay here.

And for that: Fuck you, BP.

for kate: an update

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the latest excitement:

  • i’m down 41lbs from last june to 244lbs
  • i continue to run 5x / week, lift weights 3x / week, bike infrequently, watch my calories, do some circuit training a couple times a week, drink lots of water, and juggle daily.
  • i started doing yoga 3 weeks ago and am enjoying it quite a bit – very relaxing, yet also a workout. i frequently do it at night before heading to bed and it helps the insomniac in me fall asleep.
  • this pic was taken this afternoon while hamming for the camera:
  • the picture drives me to ask the question: if you had a high school teacher with guns like that, would you be messing around with him? no? then why the heck do my students mess with me? is it the shoes? is it the smile? maybe i don’t flash the guns around enough?
  • i’m neck-deep in IEP writing, with somewhere around 18 IEP’s due in the next 2 months. oy vey.
  • add to this that i’m taking a course on educational assessments at UWF and it’s a double oy vey.
  • stephen king’s Under the Dome was a great read until the last 30 pages. he really is a master of plot development, but his endings are so frequently just blah.
  • i’ve now worn my Vibram Five Fingers every day for three months and i’m telling ya: these things are absolutely awesome. i did acquire a second pair of them (seen in above picture) and do all my teaching, workouts, running, etc. in them. my feet / legs / knees / back have never felt better. i realize i have a followup i need to do on my previous post – it’ll happen, promise!
  • spring break is the last week in march – i’m planning on being in Cincinnati for a couple days. am thinking of arranging some kind of party for a couple hours one night and see if we can’t get everyone together in one room to visit and catch up!
  • there’s more to tell, but this was unplanned and as such, my brain is mush.

thanks to kate for the kick in the ass.

with pop, snacks, and a group exam, or “how i got back at the bad kids in my 7th period class”

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7th period is That Period. the bad one. the one that drives me the craziest.

it’s mostly a dynamics issue. 8 of the 18 just don’t belong together in one classroom. but alas, the room’s not big enough to separate them as they require.

so we’re at the tail end of an excerpt from richard rodriguez’s autobiography – i’m building to the climax, the epiphany, the “aha” moment when an entire period of childish, stupid behavior on the part of my sophomores and juniors leads me to shut down the class. i’ve had enough. i’ve already had to remove one student and was close to removing a second. six others are just being disruptive, talking, trying to distract me and others, texting on cell phones, arguing with my aide – it just sent me over the top.

so i informed them: you’re on your own. finish reading it by yourselves. the 30 questions? due tomorrow at the end of the class. i was going to do them with you – now? sorry. oh, and don’t forget the test on friday. now, zip it.

and the trouble students in the class managed to zip it for about 10 minutes. then a couple more referrals had to be written.

and my 10 students who listen, participate, and don’t give me crap? their faces were like, “oh, hell no!” but they kept it together and most of them started working on finishing the story and answering the questions.

and i was so damned angry on the way home. the extent of my anger was illogical, almost blinding. and i realized that what i did wasn’t fair to my non-asshat students.

so i stopped and bought a case of cokes and rootbeer and a couple snacks. i wrote out my list of students who were going to get got, and those who weren’t. i ran it all by my department chair and a couple others (thumbs up all the way) and then laid my trap.

and 7th period, students come in and see pop and snacks and eyes light up. especially those of the soon-to-be-banished. everyone gets seated and i wrote the names of those who would not be joining us on the board. to the rest of them i said, “grab a book, a desk, a pencil, and think about what you want to drink and eat, and let’s get in a circle!” to those getting the boot, i said, “you guys can get a book, a pencil, and paper, and go to the library where you’ll do all 30 questions, then study for tomorrow’s test.”

and the looks on their faces – it was indescribable. and frankly, the glee i felt at seeing it was probably inappropriate, the groaning and whining only adding to my satisfaction.

and the ten who stayed back with me – we took the exam together and had a good discussion about the main points of the book over cokes and snacks. and 10 A’s were given.

tomorrow? the other 8 get to take the test on their own while today’s group gets a free period.

i’ll try not to be so gleeful, promise.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” but in 7th period? i’m the lord. deal with it.

cantankerous

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teaching at the high school level proves to be exciting. and frustrating.

and after a particularly frustrating wednesday, i woke up thursday as cranky as i had left the day before.

so i got to my class and wrote “cantankerous” on the board, offered extra points to anyone who got onto dictionary.com and found the definition, found several synonyms for the word, and wrote them on their paper.

this led to a productive discussion on being cantankerous, cranky, pissy, peevish, and disagreeable.

it also served as a warning.

but still.

some students took my last nerve.

and stomped all over it.

grrr.