rustypants speaks

pumpkin patches.

we love ‘em.

in the midwest, they’re everywhere. and every year we go search for The Pumpkin. in the patch. we get our shoes muddy, our hands dirty, and trudge through the rows looking for just the right one.

two sundays ago i hit google and searched for a pumpkin patch near pensacola. and in a 4 county range, there was only one. excited we were! hitched up the dog we did! loaded the address into the GPS and into the car we got!

and drove. and drove. and drove some more.

until finally, the GPS said, “turn left” – and we did. and hit a freaky dirt road.

and drove down the dirt road we did. and drove. and drove. seemingly into the middle of nowhere.

dirt flying, no living creatures anywhere (except for this turkey vulture chowing down on a tasty smooshed armadillo), we began to worry.

until!

until the GPS says, “turn left” and we look. and there is nothing but a closed road. and a sign saying, “road closed.” and it looks like it’s been closed a good while. and it’s the very road that the pumpkin patch is on.

we exchange glances.
we yell at the GPS.
the dog whines.
the dust settles.
we shrug.

and we kept going. and going. and going.

and at long last we hit asphalt. and 20 yards later?

the road. it’s a loop! woo-hoo! pumpkin patch, here we come!!

and 2 miles later?

dead end.

bummed we were! the great pumpkin will not reward us with candy! auggghhhh!!!!

what’s with florida and no pumpkin patches??