rustypants speaks

i teach english at a high school with 2,000+ students. i love reading. i love seeing students read. i love reading to my students and encouraging them to read on their own.

so when i saw dozens of copies of the book Twilight floating around my school, and heard that the school library can’t keep any of it’s copies in stock, and that it is hopelessly on backorder for months and months to come, i was excited. i picked up the first volume at sam’s club 2 weeks ago, then found the next three books at a used bookstore for $5 each! woo-hoo!!

i knew i wasn’t going to be reading classical literature, but i was expecting something riveting and gripping (ala the golden compass / dark materials trilogy or harry potter) – something with a semi-universal appeal and writing that was clear, crisp, and moved along quickly.

i’m disappointed to tell you that it is none of those things.

it’s a love story, the central character being a teenage white girl living in a small town in washington state. the love interest? a “teenage” white vampire boy attending the same school. bella falls hard for edward and through the story, learns about his differences and is unconcerned. edward tries hard to push her away, and the ensuing “getting to know you” period is predictable.

the story itself isn’t awful, but the writing is. 230+ pages of repetitive descriptions of facial expressions (almost all of them “smirk” or some form of this, “smoldering” and “fierce”), ways of laughing (“chuckle”), gripping, and retorting – overused, overdescribed, and maddeningly unimaginative after the second or third use of the same adjective / adverb.

around page 230 the plot FINALLY throws a twist you can’t see coming. the descriptors finally take a backseat as the action starts up and doesn’t let up until the end. by then, however, it was too late. i was bored and hypersensitive to her choice of words and writing style. the ending was predictable, unrealistic, and trite.

my final vote: thumbs down.

let’s be fair, though. i’m pushing 40 years old. i’m a dude. i love reading. it’s not written for me. i understand that.

so let’s do this:
if you’re a white, teenage, suburban girl: this book is for YOU! go for it! read it and love it!!
if you’re a dude of any race, creed, or socio-economic makeup: RUN!! GET AWAY!!!

now, does anyone want to buy my four copies of this 4-book set?