rustypants speaks

quote of the day:

“To all those who name the name of Christ who plan to willfully disobey Him by voting for Obama, take warning… No, this election is not about race. It’s not about the economy. It’s about obeying God… Obey Him in the voting booth and out of it. If not, do us all a favor and quit calling yourself a Christian.”
– radio host and commentator Janet Porter

i suppose i’m helping to send this country to hell in a handbasket. DANG it!!

truth is, though, it’s folks like this who scare the crap out of me. single-issue voting is unwise, and folks like this – the zealots – they worry me more than either of the candidates.

and these folks also embarrass me as a christian.

maybe i ought to take her advice and stop calling myself one.

there he is! he’s having a little chat with Jesus about that
whole “cast into a herd of pigs” incident!

pumpkin patches.

we love ‘em.

in the midwest, they’re everywhere. and every year we go search for The Pumpkin. in the patch. we get our shoes muddy, our hands dirty, and trudge through the rows looking for just the right one.

two sundays ago i hit google and searched for a pumpkin patch near pensacola. and in a 4 county range, there was only one. excited we were! hitched up the dog we did! loaded the address into the GPS and into the car we got!

and drove. and drove. and drove some more.

until finally, the GPS said, “turn left” – and we did. and hit a freaky dirt road.

and drove down the dirt road we did. and drove. and drove. seemingly into the middle of nowhere.

dirt flying, no living creatures anywhere (except for this turkey vulture chowing down on a tasty smooshed armadillo), we began to worry.

until!

until the GPS says, “turn left” and we look. and there is nothing but a closed road. and a sign saying, “road closed.” and it looks like it’s been closed a good while. and it’s the very road that the pumpkin patch is on.

we exchange glances.
we yell at the GPS.
the dog whines.
the dust settles.
we shrug.

and we kept going. and going. and going.

and at long last we hit asphalt. and 20 yards later?

the road. it’s a loop! woo-hoo! pumpkin patch, here we come!!

and 2 miles later?

dead end.

bummed we were! the great pumpkin will not reward us with candy! auggghhhh!!!!

what’s with florida and no pumpkin patches??

this is pretty darn hilarious.

http://www.palinaspresident.us/

be sure to click on everything clickable (sometimes more than once!)

where is satan sockpuppet today?

why there he is! on the beach soaking up some rays
after a long day harvesting souls!

i teach english at a high school with 2,000+ students. i love reading. i love seeing students read. i love reading to my students and encouraging them to read on their own.

so when i saw dozens of copies of the book Twilight floating around my school, and heard that the school library can’t keep any of it’s copies in stock, and that it is hopelessly on backorder for months and months to come, i was excited. i picked up the first volume at sam’s club 2 weeks ago, then found the next three books at a used bookstore for $5 each! woo-hoo!!

i knew i wasn’t going to be reading classical literature, but i was expecting something riveting and gripping (ala the golden compass / dark materials trilogy or harry potter) – something with a semi-universal appeal and writing that was clear, crisp, and moved along quickly.

i’m disappointed to tell you that it is none of those things.

it’s a love story, the central character being a teenage white girl living in a small town in washington state. the love interest? a “teenage” white vampire boy attending the same school. bella falls hard for edward and through the story, learns about his differences and is unconcerned. edward tries hard to push her away, and the ensuing “getting to know you” period is predictable.

the story itself isn’t awful, but the writing is. 230+ pages of repetitive descriptions of facial expressions (almost all of them “smirk” or some form of this, “smoldering” and “fierce”), ways of laughing (“chuckle”), gripping, and retorting – overused, overdescribed, and maddeningly unimaginative after the second or third use of the same adjective / adverb.

around page 230 the plot FINALLY throws a twist you can’t see coming. the descriptors finally take a backseat as the action starts up and doesn’t let up until the end. by then, however, it was too late. i was bored and hypersensitive to her choice of words and writing style. the ending was predictable, unrealistic, and trite.

my final vote: thumbs down.

let’s be fair, though. i’m pushing 40 years old. i’m a dude. i love reading. it’s not written for me. i understand that.

so let’s do this:
if you’re a white, teenage, suburban girl: this book is for YOU! go for it! read it and love it!!
if you’re a dude of any race, creed, or socio-economic makeup: RUN!! GET AWAY!!!

now, does anyone want to buy my four copies of this 4-book set?

colin powell has endorsed obama.

mccain ought to quit now and start his vacation.

follow my play-by-play of the presidential debate on twitter:

http://twitter.com/rustypants

or don’t.

…can’t be over soon enough.

i’ve about had it

with the zealots

for BOTH candidates.

i’ve changed my stance.

zippy for president!

after writing a referral on a student this past week for phone use, talking, and passing notes during class, the following conversation arose as the student tried to talk their way out of the referral:

student: this doesn’t even make sense! why would i be talking AND passing notes? this is why we were passing notes to begin with! geez!
me: uhh…

the boa constrictor song was stuck in my head for several days last week.

it’s only fair to share it with you. (just click on the Audio MP3 button below to listen)

Download The Boa Constrictor Song – Peter, Paul and Mary

the old bald man scared me, mommy!!

he kept calling me his “friend” but

i can’t be friends with creepy strangers!!!

conversation with my dad at a vietnamese restaurant this past saturday:

*sign on counter: No Longer Accepting Checks*

Dad: That’ll disappoint Lech Walensa.
Me: The dude who coached Nadia Comaneci? He’s Romanian.