rustypants speaks

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the job’s been such a roller coaster that i’m not really capable of writing objectively about it at this time. the expletives might be a bit overpowering, so i’m going to look at another form of language tonight instead…

i’ve been learned by several southern scholars down here in pensacola in the correct use of the english vernacular and thought it was time to share some with y’all.

plumb – adv. – there seems to be no yankee equivalent to this one. example: “I plumb forgot.”

fixin’ – v. – yankee equivalent: “getting ready to” – example: “i’m fixin’ to kick your ass” or in the immortal words of country joe mcdonald, “i feel like i’m fixin’ to die”

reckon – v. – yankee equivalent: “guess” or “suppose” – example:
Scott: Looks like a big storm is brewing.
Southerner: I reckon so.

right powerful – adj. – yankee equivalent: “big” “huge” “monstrous” – example: “That there’s a right powerful storm brewin’!”

y’all – n. – yankee equivalent: you, singular – example:
Scott: Hey, Cole, what’re y’all doing?
Cole: I’m not doing anything.

all y’all – n. - yankee equivalent: you, plural – example:
Scott to his class: All y’all need to sit down, eyes up here and ready to work on writing!

of course you can mix and match these as you please (and everyone down here does):

“I reckon I plumb forgot all y’all was comin’ over tonight for dinner. I’m fixin’ to make me a right powerful feast for dinner.”

so please, take a moment and practice with a partner so that when you come to visit I reckon that you, too, will be prepared to speak southern.

what a rollercoaster ride this first week of school has been. yesterday’s inactivity here was due to an audible snap that occurred in my brain about halfway through the day and rendered me incapable of doing anything but bark and holler nonsensical teacher-isms at a room full of unruly youths. this, as most of us know, is about as successful as nailing jello to a wall.

perspective was achieved over the course of 18 hours and today went much smoother.

and it’s on that note that i present:

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due to irrational thinking from the blogger.

check back tomorrow.

i’ll be honest with you:

yesterday right after school, i was ok.

then last night, i started getting really overwhelmed.

and this morning, i was praying to get into a car accident so i didn’t have to come to school.

but things are better. anticipation has a way of causing severe anxiety sometimes, doesn’t it? thinking too much, worrying about what might happen, wondering if you’re going to mess up, fretting that the kids just aren’t going to figure it out and you’re stuck for a whole year with them in an adversarial relationship that prompts your early retirement by about 29 years.

but i arrived this morning in full blown fear mode only to find that my homeroom class (with me from 7:30 til almost 11:00) were completely on the ball. my second class was as rough as i was expecting and cole (my teaching partner, pictured at right) and i are still working on how we’re going to nip this problem in the bud before it spirals out of control.

but i also reasoned this:

these are 5th graders. 11-12 years old. i’m 38. been around the block. it’s not a popularity contest. being laughed at in an attempt to make me feel stupid doesn’t work. being stared down doesn’t frighten me. talking behind my back – psh, what else is new?

but i do have a healthy new respect for teachers. really. i never understood. i’ve pitched my time as a youth minister and my time in special ed as teaching, and certainly it IS, but wow – it’s NOTHING like teaching in a semi-hostile environment where you’ve got 26 kids in the same room, half of whom would much prefer to be elsewhere.

have a favorite teacher somewhere? make sure they know how much you love them. it’ll make their day.

first day of school is in the bag. my mind is fuzzy and my joints are buzzing.

here’s the video-blog report.

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it’s almost midnight here in pensacola. the moon was bright and beautiful over the beach tonight as lise and i chilled for almost four hours, finding a big cockle shell and other neat shells, seeing a large kite being flown a hundred yards down the beach, watching the gorgeous sunset, and talking about everything from our decision to move to florida, my job fears and excitements, her job concerns, cancer concerns, missing our families and friends, our relationship and its vast improvement over the last 8 months – it was just a great time together.

my clock is set for 5:45am – school starts tomorrow and kids arrive at 7:05am for breakfast.

am i nervous? yup, a bit. am i excited? yup, a lot! will i sleep tonight? with a slug of NyQuil, i can sleep through anything.

see you tomorrow.

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so, how’re things going?

AAAAAHHHHHDF:LNRGWRLFNW:LKJND:WLENFG:WLERFNW”:ERLKN”DLASN LWKJHBIIUWREOOPSAO!!!!!!

does that help answer the question?

honestly, things are as good as they can be (i think). school’s been a bit overwhelming as we’re being bombarded with information about things that indirectly and directly impact our students and teachers, but on the whole i feel woefully unprepared for the first day of school with the kids on monday. much of what we’re having meetings about has nothing to do with the actual content of what we’re teaching and more to do with procedures, rules, programs, etc.

so i sit in my room at the end of the day now, looking at my stacks of books, teacher manuals, desks perfectly lined up, tables in place, stations somewhat in order, a semblance of a plan lurking in the back of my mind for behavior management, and no frigging idea what i’m going to teach or where i’m going to even start.

a poll of several other teachers shows that i’m not alone in my feelings, but it’s all exacerbated by the circumstances that i’m feeling caught in:

• we’re only 2 weeks removed from Ohio and still getting acclimated to the area, the apartment, the weather
• we’re stressed about the house not selling (3 people have looked in the last week and they have the same complaint as everyone else: steps are too steep, no shower in the bathroom)
• lise’s not found a job yet and she’s getting bummed about it all
• money’s tight
• this is my first year teaching my own classroom (and while i call my special ed work and youth ministry work “teaching” it’s nothing like this)
• some things are not working out quite the way we expected and it’s getting a bit distressing

now, all this aside, many things are going very well.

like what?

• dolby’s having a good time and is no longer looking a bit spazzed about “what the heck happened here??”
• we’re meeting people who are very cool and making a few friends
• we’ve got the gulf of mexico waiting for us daily to come, sit, chill, put things in perspective, turn off the brain
• the apartment, while small, is nice
• we’ve had a lot of time together – always a good thing
• the school district has given me lots of time to prepare

life’s good and we’re working through the things that are freaking us out.

and for now, i leave you with a test podcast from my spiffy new Apple iMac Intel Core 2 Dual that runs not only MacOS 10 but Windows XP Pro as well.

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today was another good one at school. a morning full of behavior management meetings and a quick bite to eat with lise, several other teachers and my principal (no – no more singing from him today, but we did discover that numerous videos exist of his singing and impersonating). then it was back to school to finally tackle the mess in the classroom.

about a month ago i posted a picture of the room as we saw it while construction was going on and installation of central air into the building. it was in slightly better shape when i got in there this week, but still pretty boogered up. some progress was made and frankly, now that it’s clean and i’ve got my desks where i want them, i can start envisioning where things will go and how the class dynamics will play out in relation to all the furniture. i just needed it to be a bit cleaner so the imagination could roam freely, unfettered by junk.

it being friday and all, i ran home, played with the pup for a while, made some cocktail sauce, threw on the swimsuit, gathered up the wife, and took off to maria’s seafood for our friday night seafood and sunset on the beach. we found a number of pretty cool seashells, cooled off in the Gulf, took some sweet pics of the sun going down (and the video below), and dove into some shrimp.

i can’t imagine ever getting bored with the sunsets down here. it really is stunning and such insane variations from one day to the next.

this video is about a minute long, documenting the final seconds of the sun before it disappeared on the horizon.

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my first day at semmes elementary started with a blast – my principal came out on stage to Eye of the Tiger blaring over the speakers, decked in full boxing gear and sang the song at full tilt.

it was, needless to say, a riot. this guy is awesome.

i arrived an hour early (not meaning to, but not realizing that 8am is the starting time this week) and when i got there and no one else was there… i thought maybe i was in the wrong place. :-)

breakfast was served and i got the chance to float around the cafeteria and meet just about everyone – i’m happy to report: these folks are all very nice. it looks like we’ve got a top-notch team at this school.

a few meetings were held and we got our keys to our classrooms. over the summer, central air was being installed and sadly, they’re not finished yet. even more sadly (and the only sour note to the day): the window unit in my room is kaput. imagine 120 degrees, no breeze and high humidity: i was basting in my own juices again.

lunch with fellow staff members was good and getting to hear more stories about who they are, why they’re in education – this is the stuff i live for.

scavenging through some other empty and unused classrooms for extra tables and furniture, baking a bit more in the heat, one more brief meeting and getting to spend time with my teaching partner (cole) talking music and educational philosophy rounded out the day. i’m looking forward to working with this guy and with the other teachers / leaders at this school.

it’s gonna be a good year.

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to all my friends in cincinnati who said upon hearing of our move to pensacola, “oh, my – are you wanting to cook yourself in the heat down there??” i can only point this out:

cincinnati’s forecast for the next several days

pensacola’s forecast. (and our “daily t-storms” last about 30 minutes and are over)

now, i’d gladly trade you humidity ANY time…

he’d have been baptist.

as near as i can tell, every church down here is a baptist church.

this has to be an implication of something but of what, i’m not sure.

the proliferation of baptist churches makes me want to visit the only other denomination with multiple congregations, the seventh day adventists, just out of spite.

ehh… no.

there’s a joint about 10 minutes from our place here in pensacola called Maria’s Seafood Market – they’re not nearly as big as joe patti’s, our favorite seafood joint here in town, but they do something that joe patti’s does not: you order your shrimp or crabs or whatever, and they’ll steam it for free on the spot.

so we’re making a couple of routines here, one of which is becoming: make some of scott’s famous seafood sauce (the trick: Lea and Perrin’s Worcestershire Sauce), grab a couple waters, throw on the swim gear, grab the camera, go to Maria’s, get a pound of jumbo shrimp ($5.99 a pound, dude!!), have them steam it, spice it, and package it, then:

hit the beach, look for seashells, enjoy the waves, watch the sun go down…

and. eat. shrimp.

MMMmmmmmm… SHRIIIMMMMP.

so tonight, this is exactly what we did.

gentlemen, let me strongly suggest that should you try this with your sweetie: do NOT eat the last shrimp without offering it to her, first.

she packs a mean right hook.

my friend matt was telling me about adding my new address to his gmail address book when he was given the following option:

i sure wish i could say i did it on purpose…

huge billboard on I-65 in alabama, en route to pensacola.

hee hee – what are these people thinking?