rustypants speaks

well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but there are a lot of times when i’m really not sure whether what people say is the truth, whether something i’ve worked for i’ll actually receive, whether the intentions of the person(s) i’m dealing with are in the right place, whether i actually deserve something i’m told i deserve (or think, at times, that i DO deserve), if someone is talking about or planning against me, etc.

now, we can psychobabble this to the end of time (it’s trust issues, it’s poor self-esteem, it’s that i’ve been hurt X number of times, my mommy didn’t love me, my ice cream fell off the cone in 1st grade, i listened to too much judas priest when i was growing up, i had a girlfriend who laughed at me when she saw me naked, i was breast-fed, i wasn’t breast-fed, i’m co-dependent, i drink too much water, i don’t lather-rinse-repeat - choose the one that makes you feel best) but it won’t help the situation.

i graduated several months ago from Cincinnati Christian University. in other words, i finished my coursework. it felt good and strange but i was sure that something would come up to screw it up. i wouldn’t get my diploma and i’d have to do something else (another class? some weird requirement i didn’t hear about 5 years ago?) to get it.

then i graduated a month ago during a ceremony at CCU, but none of us got our diplomas when we walked the stage. why? they wanted to make sure we actually did everything we needed to do to satisfy graduation requirements. i was certain (although i only shared it with a few people) that something would come up and even though i walked the stage, i’d not get the diploma. “the other foot” (that i feel so used to sometimes) would come crashing through and prove to me what i already knew: i screwed up somewhere and i’m not really graduated yet.

well, the diploma came today. i’m not sure what happened to the other foot (or what implication this holds for my semi-paranoid psychosis) but now it’s real.

i’ve really graduated from college.

now to hide the diploma so when the government men in their black helicopters come and break into my foil-lined office to steal it, they won’t be able to find it.

that last part was a joke.

lise and i are trying to decide if we’re gonna make a summer trip to the beach or not.

taken over christmas last year, our trip to pensacola ended up being the best vacation we’ve ever had.

why? truth is, we’ve never taken conventional vacations in our 16 year marriage. we usually take a couple days, fill the gas tank and just go driving, stop randomly, hang out, then move on. we’ve never gone someplace and stayed for several days. ever.

we got a condo right across the street from the gulf of mexico and it was gorgeous and perfect. we hit the beach every late morning and found hundreds of seashells and sand dollars (brought back 5 gallon-sized bags full of them) and got our feet very cold in the water (outdoor temps were in the upper 50’s, lower 60’s and the water temp was about 60 - but hey! when you’re from cincinnati where the avg. december temp is 18….). drove around the city of pensacola (and quickly realized: the beach is more interesting). rushed to the beach every day at 4:45pm to snag pictures of the sunsets (absolutely the best sunsets we’ve ever seen). hung out at the condo later in the evenings and watched movies and had dinner. ate at flounder’s our last night there (the key lime pie was the highlight).

simply put: it was the best vacation ever.

well, the condo we stayed at is available for the third week of august and amazingly at the same price as we paid back in december! almost $300 less than peak season of July! what does this tell me? pensacola beach empties out by mid-august, which would be perfect for us!

we’ve asked our good friends travis and sarah if they’d like to come with us this time. negotiations are pending. obviously money is the biggest issue.

but for 5 days on an incredible beach? it’s worth it.