rustypants speaks

wouldn’t the money being spent on these ridiculous t-shirts be put to better use to help his victims?

thank goodness we americans have our priorities straight.

few things satisfy that need for a manly testosterone-fueled adrenaline rush like firing up the old chainsaw and hacking away at poor defenseless trees.

dolby had a rough day today. up early with an appointment at the vet for x-rays on his hips, sedation, grogginess, and general poking and prodding made for a dog of a day.

tonight we thought we’d take him for some fun on the beach.

black skimmers are out and tonight was no exception.

you can see that dolby thought it’d be fun to try and catch this big boy.

sadly, his reflexes were still a bit stunted and the skimmer got away. the look on his face in this picture: shame? guilt? disappointment?

guess we’ll have to try again tomorrow. better luck then, dolbs!

thunderstorms. playing cards. reading. nature. driving.

these are only a few of the things my dad loves that i also love. these are things that he introduced to me when i was a little kid, and i am a much better man because of them. some of  my earliest memories include:

• watching thunderstorms roll in while sitting on the back porch together and jumping at the lightning and thunder.
• being read to at night (by mom, too!) - this was a nightly occurrance - at least one story before bedtime in my room or in jason’s.
• being read to, having a thunderstorm roll in, STOP reading, turn out the lights, and watch the storm together.
• learning how to play gin rummy & chess and spending time playing both (or should i say losing both - i doubt that i’ve beat him at either).
• camping trips to Heuston Woods & Miami Whitewater, building fires, hiking, swimming.
• drives, sometimes just to drive. other times, 3 weeks worth of driving (remember the RV trip from cincy to wisconsin to california to mexico to tennessee to ohio?).
• raiding his bookshelves for good reading material. dad loves to read - being read to every night as a youngster was pivotal. being grounded from TV for five years in my later years didn’t hurt, either. i was introduced to Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut, JRR Tolkien, and John Steinbeck, among others, in those junior high years.

now, to be sure, we have our differences. we have very different personalities. we have different likes and dislikes. we disagree about things.

but dad is level-headed. intelligent. loving. kind. analytical.

he is still the first person i call when i’m trying to make a decision about this or that and need someone to see more sides of the situation than i can figure.

he still loves me and lets me know it frequently.

he still lets me raid his bookshelves and “forget” to return the books to him.

he’s the first person i think of when lise and i are sitting on the beach or on the front porch watching a big thunderstorm move through.

i’m a better man because of my dad.

thanks, dad! happy fathers day! i love you!

one of my YG guys from years past (dusty) is to blame for the following variation on the ABC game:

take a well-known topic / book / movie and, in round-robin fashion, start with one person who has to think of a character or main feature starting with A, then go to the next person who has to do the same for B, then the next person for C, etc. - keep this going until someone gets stuck, is eliminated, and play goes to the next person. the winner is obvioiusly the last person left standing.

the first time i remember him initiating this game, we tackled Harry Potter. A was Albus, B was Beasley, C was… well, you get the picture.

this could be done with that ghastly “Twilight” series and/or the movie, or a TV show, etc.

just another great time-killer for long drives.

so the long drive from cincy back to pensacola drove us to playing the ABC game, much as we used to do with youth groups on the way to camps, retreats, concerts, etc.

“yes, yes, but how does one play?” you may be wondering.

it’s simple.

each individual starts with the letter A and, using anything OUTSIDE of the car, van, or bus you’re riding in, finds a word that begins with that letter before moving on to the next letter in the alphabet. each word can only be used once, so the trick is to be the first to say the word and the letter. the person that gets through the entire alphabet first wins!

so, for example: lise and i are driving down the road and she sees a car with an Alabama license plate. she says, “Alabama, A.” and then moves on to B. because i didn’t say it first, she gets the A. i might see a street name “Anandale St.” and a Buick with California plates and if i can say them all fast enough, “Anandale, A; Buick, B; California, C” then i get the three of them. but if lise needs the C and she calls california first, she gets it and i’m still stuck on C.

other rules:

• INFERRED words don’t count. if i see an Audi and know it’s an Audi but don’t see the word “Audi” on the car? can’t use it.
• Initials don’t count (unless you agree to it at the beginning - CDL Trucking can’t be used for C).
• Distracting an opponent in the hopes that they won’t see a letter / word they are looking for is perfectly acceptable.
• X is a somewhat difficult word - in the past we have allowed that as long as the letter X is IN the word somewhere, it counts. Z can also be included in this rule.
• Petty bickering over who said it first is counterproductive, as the point of the game is to a) have fun and b) kill time. the bigger the group, the more difficult it is to avoid petty bickering, but appoint a referree just in case.
• Restroom breaks generally bring a time-out in the game.
• Writing a word on a piece of paper and sticking the paper out the window probably warrants a penalty of some sort. it’s not acceptable, at any rate.

because we didn’t make the X or Z exception, our game went on for hours, with my winning at approximately 11:30pm in Century, FL as we drove through a School Zone. lise was napping.

i was so proud of myself! the dog and i were up @ 3am and out the door by 3:30am for our drive to cincinnati.

we were bookin’ on through and i started making a mental list of all the things i had needed to get together and put in the car before we left. things were going along just fine until i thought to myself, “hey, something doesn’t feel right here…” i looked down and said,

“hey! where the hell are my shoes??”

the trouble with living by the beach? being too comfortable with being barefoot all the time.

besides this minor snafu, the trip to cincy has been a good one.

it’s @bhalpin’s fault.

about a month ago, he wrote about his top 100 novels, a response to someone’s response to NPR’s list. i’ve looked over others’ lists (including the Modern Library’s and the BBC’s from several years ago) and thought, “well, if they’re doing it, and Halpin’s doing it, i ought to do it, too.”

my list, in no particular order, includes books (not just novels) that have had an impact on me over the last 25+ years, whether because of subject matter, writing style, the time at which i read it, or the chemical that is released by the brain associating pleasure with certain things.

1. Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
2. Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson
3. Shadow Country by Peter Matthiessen
4. The Stand by Stephen King
5. Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon
6. Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
7. An American Tragedy by Ted Dreiser
8. The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
9. The Inferno by Dante (Ciardi)
10. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
11. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
12. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
13. The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
14. The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
15. The Talisman by Peter Straub & Stephen King
16. His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman
17. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
18. Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling
19. Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
20. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
21. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
22. Danny, Champion of the World by Roald Dahl
23. Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss
24. Maus by Art Spiegelman
25. John Adams by David McCullough
26. Truman by David McCullough
27. Animal Farm by George Orwell
28. Big Fish by Daniel Wallace
29. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
30. angela’s ashes by Frank McCourt
31. The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris
32. A Series of Unfortunate Events by lemony snicket
33. Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter Miller
34. Falling Up by Shel Silverstein
35. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
36. The Traveler by john twelve hawks
37. The Bible
38. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
39. Snow Falling on Cedars by David Gunderson
40. Contact by Carl Sagan
41. What is the What byDave Eggars
42. Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
43. Calvin and Hobbes - Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat by Bill Watterson
44. A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian Mclaren
45. Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
46. night by Elie Wiesel
47. extremely loud and incredibly close by Jonathan Safran Foer
48. Candide by Voltaire
49. The Unabridged Edgar Allen Poe
50. The Stories of Ray Bradbury by Ray Bradbury
51. A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong
52. The Search to Belong by Joseph Meyers
53. The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind by Mark Noll
54. The Hot Zone by Richard Preston
55. Timeline by Michael Crichton
56. The Big Book of Hell by Matt Groening

fifty-six. it was the best i could do. i wanted to BS a few more classics just to look more cultured and civilized, but then i realized, “hey! this is MY LIST! if someone thinks i’m not all that intelligent because i like dr. seuss, well pbbbbthhhh!”

do you have a list? how about a top three?

i should clarify what i meant in the last post concerning twitter and excessive self-aggrandizing and the like:

• i realize that twitter is, for the most part, a social networking tool / micro-blogging site - as such, personal posts will be the norm
• HOWEVER: when i’m following 80 people and ONE person posts 25+ posts a day, most of which seem like text messages to only a few people who will “get it” (or give a damn), this is a waste of my time.
• and the same goes for folks who ONLY use Twitter to toot their own horn (such as: “hey, i just blogged about blah blah blah and you know you need to read it!” or “hey, why aren’t you reading my blog?” or (insert tinyurl misleading me to something i don’t care about HERE).
• there are no “rules” for twitter, despite what some of these so-called “social-media experts” and others would have you believe. and “Netiquette” as we used to know it is out the window.

i love reading the personal posts! seriously! but i hate excessive monopolization by a few people. i’ve even ditched a couple professional groups because of this same thing. if you’ve got that much time on your hands as to be a “professional twitterer” (thanks, @duebber), more power to ya. there’s obviously an audience out there for you, it’s simply not me.

and again: i’m not bitching here about Twitter or specific Twitterers - but the nature of Twitter grates on me as it is (sometimes) and this type of behavior only serves to make it worse.

the solutions are obvious:

• un-follow folks who tweet mindlessly
• block those who shamelessly self-aggrandize
• get the hell out of twitter all together

i love technology. i love that we’re struggling to figure out how to continue to integrate technology into our personal and professional lives even as the pace of technological growth far outpaces our ability to keep up with it. i’ve even set up a second twitter account and am trying to figure out how to incorporate it into my classes next year.

fear not, friends! i’m not weeding my twitter following list because you mention the fact that your dog likes to eat its own poop, or that you love The Bachelor.

just don’t mention it 25+ times a day, eh? :-)

lots going on, lots coming up - time for another stream of consciousness, eh?

• finished reading two good books in a row - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon; Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri. the first is a story told from the viewpoint of a fifteen year old with autism - fascinating to me after working with profoundly autistic students for many years in DC and Maryland. the second won the Pulitzer for fiction back in 2000 - it’s a series of short stories and very enjoyable.
• i’m currently reading Michael Ondaatje’s Anil’s Ghost and Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake. both are good so far.
• my contract was renewed at PFHS for next year - this was FANTASTIC news, both because having a job = good, and because i have come to love working at this school! very excited for what next year will bring.
• as school finished up last week, i’ve been searching for things to keep me busy this summer. too much time off is dreadfully boring. have a meeting with a department at my district tomorrow to discuss my developing Moodle pages for this dept’s training sessions, and helping with other technology related things. couple days a week, couple hours a day, maybe.
• our beloved Canon S2 IS bit the dust a couple months ago. a stunning blow, as we rarely leave the house without a camera in tow. we knew we wanted to move up in the digital camera arena, but didn’t have the money to do so. after some scraping and a lot of research, we ended up getting a killer deal on a Canon SX10 IS and we’re having a blast with it. the pictures are crisp, the response time on the camera is quick, the 20x optical zoom is over the top, and the flexibility is great. we’re still learning the nuances of this camera, and i have difficulty in a couple areas that are probably lack of photography knowledge, but we’re working on that!
• i’m enjoying Twitter more as i’m finding professional uses for it (mostly networking and idea-sharing), but i have to admit: i’m getting very annoyed at folks who use twitter like text messaging and/or simply to show off. now, the beauty of twitter is: even though everyone and their mothers have a “how to use twitter” tutorial, the truth is, there are no rules. and my bitching about folks who use twitter one way or another - it comes down to this - i stop following them so i don’t have to partake in their pointless and excessive self-aggrandizing or all the silly personal chatter they produce. it’s been bothering me a bit - thanks for letting me blow off some steam about it (and no offense meant to anyone who has been un-followed or recognizes themselves in this description - i still love you, just not that much).
• and in the interest of full-disclosure: i don’t frequently have a lot of intelligent things to say on twitter - but i do keep the meaningless posts to a minimum.
• the juan sebastian elcano is docked at pensacola pier - we went down and took a stroll around - pretty impressive ship!

• the sunsets continue to blow our minds here in pensacola. the temperatures have been very pleasant (mid-80’s the last couple weeks). tonight we saw a black skimmer fly by just as we were about to leave - very pretty and graceful - this was the best i could get of this one as it flew by:

• recent new music discoveries include: Rosie Thomas; Booker T; and Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse’s Dark Night of the Soul.

be well and take me to task on some of this stuff, ya hear?

the view

as of june 3

Click the pic. Why?

Pensacola - Spring 2009

Some places, people, and things from spring 2009.

can anyone really come up with something better to do on a saturday morning than this?

woke up around 7:15, took care of the dog, grabbed some cereal, packed a couple books, the cooler, and took off.

skies were clear, water was gorgeous, shells were plentiful, and the temps were perfect.

saw a very cool solar halo while out. we’ve seen them before, but not this big or clear.

we stayed until noon and took off. it was the perfect way to spend a saturday morning.

we’re in the season for big clouds and sunsets even more spectacular than usual. tonight we took big dog out for a 3 hour stroll on pensacola beach.

the way the sky changes so quickly and gives so many colors, shapes, hues, and focal points - it never ceases to amaze us.

there was a large cloud front moving in from the north - watching the sunset BEHIND that - it was multiple layer sunset goodness!

while we were sloshing around in the water, lise made a killer shell find - a large 3″ alphabet cone!

this is only the 2nd one we’ve found even close to the 3″ range - quite a find, let me tell you!

after a particularly strange day at school, this was a good way to end it: together, everyone happy, relaxed, and ready to come home and crash.

speaking of which…

for years, lise and i had coveted my mom’s doormat. we’ve laughed about it every time we visited her home, asked her to leave it to us in her will, hatched plots to steal it, and asked her to just plain give it to us.

so when she told me to take it with me when we moved to Florida 2 years ago, it was a bit of a shock. i mean, we had been joking about it for so long that now… well, we can just… take it?

i turned her down. thanks, but no thanks. why are you giving it up now? she tells me it’s time for her to grow up (to which i laughed - at age 61, to decide that this welcome mat is too “immature” for you… well, that’s my momma).

at any rate, every time i see it when i come home, i think about mom. she’s funny. i love her and miss her a lot.

still on a pulitzer / man booker / national book award kick.

struggled with Life of Pi at the beginning. had to stop, start, stop, start before it finally caught (and just before i gave up). at the 3/4 point, it’s good but will never be a favorite.

the best book i’ve read in at least a year?

shadow country by peter matthiessen.

it’s simply a story.

but it’s the telling of the tale, the imagery, the myriad voices used in telling, the different perspectives, the character development, the conclusion of each sub-book (there are three) that make this such a fantastic read.

no exaggeration - this book is a masterpiece.

least interesting book i’ve read this past year? the brief wonderous life of oscar wao. how this thing won the pulitzer prize for fiction last year is beyond me. 

next up: the white tiger.

there he is!

he’s cooling off with a scoop of Graeter’s ice cream! nothing says respite from eternal damnation like a bowl of Buckeye Blitz! enjoy it, you little devil, then get thee hence!

on my way home from school i called the pensacola surf advisory hotline & found out that the water was calm on the Gulf and the flag was green - this was great news! lise and i grabbed our stuff and headed out.

not long after we arrived, the wind picked up and some pretty chunky looking clouds appeared.

we got in the car to drive around and investigate.

in some spots, the sky was clear. in others it was pitch black. and still in others it was yellow / pink / purple-ish.

it came through like a snake. pitch black up the middle, clear or colorful on either side.

after we’d hung about for a bit longer, we started to head back to the house for some dinner and playtime with dolby. along the bay (the “scenic tour” way home), i saw a HUGE bird in a tree - too big for a hawk, wrong neck for a heron, and pelicans don’t roost in trees.

we pulled a u-turn and then another, got out the camera and shot what i thought might’ve been an eagle or falcon at first glance. it was an osprey! a big boy, too!

a spectacular sunset was brewing after we saw the falcon. we pulled off into a cemetary by the bay and snapped some pretty cool shots. also got some rainbow shots that i’m having difficulty manipulating in the newest WordPress release. if i’m able, will update with that later.

we love nights like tonight - the time together, the variety of weather, the awe of creation. it’s good to be reminded of the insignificance that our puny lives represent when cast against everything else. crummy days at school melt away in times like these.

lise subbed for me yesterday.

when she came home, she told me about one student who was continually disrespectful to her, then insulted her. he’s a new student in the class, but well known to the disciplinary officers.

today that student strolled into class all cool and whatnot. “whassup, mr. rust?” he asked.

“siddown and shut up.” was my reply.

“what’s wrong with you?”

“you dis my wife and insult her yesterday? wrong way to get on my good side. sit. shut it.”

*look of disbelief* “that was your wife?”

*rest of class laughs uproariously*

he sat and pouted the rest of the class.

i was 13 years old. 1982. jr. high.

the song came on the radio and i froze.

the smooth beat started. the whispered plea, the wailing voice.

nevermind that the subject matter is first and foremost on the minds of jr. high boys everywhere.

the music stays smooth and cool through the entire song, but the intensity of marvin gaye’s singing, the urgency of his needs grows as the song goes on.

holy cow, the man had pipes.

my first 7″ 45 single? sexual healing.

i remember walking up to globe records and tapes at western hills plaza and searching through the singles on the shelf. finding my prize, i bought it and zipped back.

when i got it home, i played it. and played it. and played it. it was my first serious exposure to gaye’s music and it was one i never forgot.

it still has a mesmerizing effect on me. i’ve listened to it four times as i’ve written this and had to force myself not to play it a fifth time. truly addictive.

and no one else can quite set the tone like he does.

the dog. what can i say? he’s fickle and funny, and sometimes a pain in the ass. he loves his toys, and recently has not been quite as destructive with them.

this sheep is one example of that. he now has 3 stuffed toys that he has not destroyed and sometimes carries around with him.

on this night a week or so ago, he brought his stuffed sheep up on the bed, stole my pillow, and promptly fell asleep.

how do you move an 85lb black lab off your pillow? gingerly.

and for the record, he does not sleep on the bed with us. he’s a dog. he sleeps on the floor at night. but as long as we’re not asleep in the bed, he’s welcome to it.

silly old dog.

we likey play with camera.

me wifey has bluey eyes

she coming after me

that explainey - full moony!

a couple weeks ago we were out on the beach early one sunday morning. it was warm and the water was nice. we had the dog with us and were walking up and down the gulf when we happened upon a section of beach with a LOT of shells in the water.

as we walked around, lise got into the water just a bit and was finding a lot of the same old stuff.

and then she yelled. LOUD.

she had found a Tortuga’s Banded Tulip, intact, and a little over 3″ long. an amazing find!

this is one of those “holy grail” shells for us. we’ve seen very small ones, and have been teased with hundreds of “pieces” of this shell. it’s very thin and delicate, so when they do actually make it to the shore, they’re typically beaten and crunched against the sand and other shells by waves, broken into pieces.

needless to say, this was a very neat find!

this was the email sent out friday morning at school announcing our haiku contest winners… names deleted to protect the innocent.

______________________

My distinguished panel of judges and I wrestled with many entries and almost came to blows in our struggle to choose the top three haiku - here are the results!

In Third Place, Xxxx Xxxxxxxxx wins the lightly used Continental Airlines Barf Bag for:

Anticipation
Like puppy dog tail wagging
June, July, August

In Second Place, Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx wins Nunzilla for the following submission:

Awakening minds
Butterflies’ wings emerging
An Aha moment

And finally, the First Place Winner of the snarky office door hangers, Xxxxx Xxxxxxxx submitted:

Will someone teach boys
To pull up their sagging pants
No peep shows at school
_____________________________________

Honorable Mentions abound (as will Mardi Gras beads):

Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxxx sent:
Darn, It is Monday
WhY am I here? Oh that’s right
I Get paid Friday

Xxxxx Xxxx says:
That Crow woman can 
clean and jerk three hundred pounds!
sixty pounds, five lifts

Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx opined:
I wonder today
at the students’ attitudes
and ask, “what went wrong?”

Xxxx Xxxxxxxxx also sez:
Apathy abounds,
Stealing moments on cell phones,
Ignorance remains.

Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxx ventures:
Hazardous meeting
The blowhard passes me by
I feign diffidence

and finally, for managing to sneak in the name of our first female Pulitzer Prize winner for Poetry, Xxx Xxxxxx declared:

What is in a name?
Edna St Vincent Millay
Poetry? Oh yes!

(Nancy Boyd wouldn’t have worked quite as well in that one, would it, Jay?)

Thanks to everyone who participated - it truly was fun to wade through the submissions and hard to pick the top ones!

Download Crazy Dolby

i don’t know what he would do

if he ever caught one

but it sure is funny watching

as he runs pell mell

and at least tries.

the following was an email i sent to the entire school this morning initiating a haiku contest…
—————————-

Win prizes and literary fame in the PFHS Staff Haiku Contest!

Well, maybe not literary fame, but hey - prizes! Bragging rights!

The History:
I write haiku to keep from going insane. I keep a notebook with me in my backpack where I write my haiku as a way to keep my cool in the face of adversity and frustration (read: students and school politics, etc.). It’s a quick, fun, and easy little trick that I can do right in the classroom as I catch my breath, grind my teeth, and try to keep my hands from grabbing someone’s throat.

What Is Haiku:
Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that consists of 17 total syllables split into three lines with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the 2nd line, and 5 syllables in the third line. This is a simplified explanation of something that can easily be Googled, but for the purpose of this contest, the above makes sense, right?

Examples:
Last Friday was a bad day for me. 2/3 of the way through the day, I wrote the following haiku:

(5 syllables) Thank God it’s Friday?
(7 syllables) Hah! I laugh with contempt and
(5 syllables) Write mass referrals.

I write haiku when good things happen, too. The following examples include both good and not so good:

My boss, Frank Murphy
The best principal on earth!
Keep my job next year?

Awful Seventh class!
Rust stuck it to them, and how!
No compassion here.

Valentine’s Day is
anniversary of our
agreement to wed!

A friend of mine also writes haiku and we sometimes email each other with them:

The stone we do roll…
A task so Sisyphean…
Whiskey’s the answer! 

And now, The Contest:
Be creative! Write some haiku! They can be funny, serious, concerned, worried, angry - whatever tone you want them to have! The only rules are:

1. Be sure to stay within the confines of 17 syllables broken into a 5-7-5 pattern.
2. Make your haiku school-related.
3. Submit as many haiku as you want!

Submit / email your school related haiku to me before the end of business Thursday (February 26) and my distinguished panel of judges and I will award prizes for the top three haiku, and several honorable mentions.

The Prizes (see attached picture for each item in all its glory):
1st place will receive a pack of six handy Office Door Hangers with messages like: Out To Lunch (and short a sandwich); Meeting In Progress (the practical alternative to work); Bad Day In Progress (enter at your own risk); and three others! Use these door hangers to warn students and staff of your current disposition!
2nd place will receive Nunzilla! This fire-breathing wind-up sister trudges straight out of a Catholic school student’s nightmare like a determined disciplnary force, with green eyes blazing and sparks flying from her mouth!
3rd place will receive a lightly used Continental Airlines Barf Bag / Seat Occupied sign.
Honorable Mentions will receive a strand of Mardi Gras beads caught and harvested this past Saturday morning on the streets of downtown Pensacola.

Go ye therefore and write!

Scott

so far? the entries are quite good!

…but without the wall

 lise and i collect seashells. lots of them. compulsively collect them. for 2+ years now, we’ve collected shells and shell pieces and have hoarded them in boxes and drawers and bags. we give many of them away, but dang, we just have too many shells.

a month or so ago, lise said to me, “let’s go through all our shells and take most of them back.” “BACK?!?” i said incredulously. “yes. back,” was her reply. and in the ensuing weeks, we went through all our shells, held back the ones we enjoyed the most (there were a lot of those) and made plans for exactly how we were going to return the others.

a mural. a sculpture. a sand-painting with shells. this would be the best way to return them: make art!

so two weeks ago, we hauled 2 years worth (maybe just under 100 lbs?) of shells to pensacola beach and began creating.

we picked a deserted spot, chose the best location and we got to work.

we had sketched out a sun design on paper before we arrived…

and the trick was keeping it even. we didn’t want the aesthetic ruined by sections off-kilter or too many shells clumped together in one spot. we didn’t want it to be TOO symmetrical or normal looking, though. the sun was retreating fast, so we had to double-up our efforts. things worked out perfectly, and we finished in about 45 minutes.

what took two years to collect were planned and laid out in just under an hour to the backdrop of a gorgeous sunset. it was a triumphant moment when we stood back and looked at our finished art project.

i honestly thought i’d feel sad about letting all those shells go, but it was such a fun thing. we really enjoyed ourselves and spent a good amount of time talking about what folks would think as they came upon this creation later. speculation, creation, satisfaction, companionship - it was all there.

we hung out for a bit, watched the sunset fade to black, and headed home…

and began planning our next big seashell art project!

the list that has been making the facebook rounds with 25 random things about yourself - it’s vexing to me. i don’t want to do it. and i won’t

but this - this list is something i can do and be happy about!

25 favorite albums in no particular order

1. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
2. Jason Mraz - Live at Schuba’s Tavern 01-15-2003
3. Waterdeep - Sink or Swim
4. Herbie Hancock - Headhunters
5. Keith Jarrett Trio - Live at the Blue Note
6. Green Day - Dookie
7. Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds - Live at Radio City
8. Damien Jurado - Ghost of David
9. Cowboy Junkies - Trinity Session
10. The Band - The Last Waltz
11. The Black Keys - Chulahoma: The Songs of Junior Kimbrough
12. Chick Corea and Gary Burton - Crystal Silence
13. Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days
14. Jimmy Smith - The Sermon!
15. Joe Satriani - Super Colossal
16. Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin II
17. Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See
18. Miles Davis and John Coltrane - The Complete Columbia Recordings
19. Yo-Yo Ma - The Cello Suites Inspired by Bach
20. Rusted Root - Cruel Sun
21. Phil Keaggy - Beyond Nature
22. Judas Priest - Screaming for Vengeance
23. Neil Young - Deepsix Vol. 2
24. John Coltrane - A Love Supreme
25. Grateful Dead - Live at the Fillmore East - 4-29-1971
26. Over the Rhine - Drunkard’s Prayer

i noted over on facebook that the honorable mentions list would be at least as long as this one.

what’s your list?

7th period is That Period. the bad one. the one that drives me the craziest.

it’s mostly a dynamics issue. 8 of the 18 just don’t belong together in one classroom. but alas, the room’s not big enough to separate them as they require.

so we’re at the tail end of an excerpt from richard rodriguez’s autobiography - i’m building to the climax, the epiphany, the “aha” moment when an entire period of childish, stupid behavior on the part of my sophomores and juniors leads me to shut down the class. i’ve had enough. i’ve already had to remove one student and was close to removing a second. six others are just being disruptive, talking, trying to distract me and others, texting on cell phones, arguing with my aide - it just sent me over the top.

so i informed them: you’re on your own. finish reading it by yourselves. the 30 questions? due tomorrow at the end of the class. i was going to do them with you - now? sorry. oh, and don’t forget the test on friday. now, zip it.

and the trouble students in the class managed to zip it for about 10 minutes. then a couple more referrals had to be written.

and my 10 students who listen, participate, and don’t give me crap? their faces were like, “oh, hell no!” but they kept it together and most of them started working on finishing the story and answering the questions.

and i was so damned angry on the way home. the extent of my anger was illogical, almost blinding. and i realized that what i did wasn’t fair to my non-asshat students.

so i stopped and bought a case of cokes and rootbeer and a couple snacks. i wrote out my list of students who were going to get got, and those who weren’t. i ran it all by my department chair and a couple others (thumbs up all the way) and then laid my trap.

and 7th period, students come in and see pop and snacks and eyes light up. especially those of the soon-to-be-banished. everyone gets seated and i wrote the names of those who would not be joining us on the board. to the rest of them i said, “grab a book, a desk, a pencil, and think about what you want to drink and eat, and let’s get in a circle!” to those getting the boot, i said, “you guys can get a book, a pencil, and paper, and go to the library where you’ll do all 30 questions, then study for tomorrow’s test.”

and the looks on their faces - it was indescribable. and frankly, the glee i felt at seeing it was probably inappropriate, the groaning and whining only adding to my satisfaction.

and the ten who stayed back with me - we took the exam together and had a good discussion about the main points of the book over cokes and snacks. and 10 A’s were given.

tomorrow? the other 8 get to take the test on their own while today’s group gets a free period.

i’ll try not to be so gleeful, promise.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” but in 7th period? i’m the lord. deal with it.

there he is! he’s doing his frank sinatra impression
while singing, “fly me to the moon!”

silly satan! viable souls are only found on earth!

several weeks ago may vanderbilt (of www.anneandmay.com) put up several items for grabs on her blog - cool items that, if you wanted one of them, you simply had to tell her you wanted it - at the end of that week, she drew names out of a hat to determine who would get what of the things she had (sort of a cool-item housecleaning, if you will).

one item was a Moleskine Notebook. i like moleskine (and will post soon on how i abuse them) so i put my name in for it, not thinking i had a chance in the world of getting it.

but a week later, my name is pulled out of a hat - yay!

and this is my video thanks to May for the cool notebook! click on the Play button to see…

Download thanks to may vanderbilt!

reason #1

reason #2 

 reason #3

this post will have little meaning for the majority of you and i write it more for myself than anything.

i’ve not written much in the last month and it’s not out of lack of material. it’s lack of desire and creativity. i think boring writing ought to be burned at the stake and vow, usually, to not subject folks to boring writing from me.

i have a number of folks who think i’m funny and witty and that it’s just second nature to me to always have something to say, and to say it with a humorous or creative slant. but the truth is, it’s like a faucet sometimes - it’s on. or it’s off. and i could force it, but i don’t particularly want to.

i promised myself a couple years ago that i would not be the writer / blogger who felt tied to his blog and to some imaginary rule that says i must write for the masses daily. i also promised i wouldn’t get caught up in numbers, like how many folks are reading and omg, if i don’t write more i’ll lose people, etc.

i also promised i’d not be That Guy who bitches and moans about everything or wears his emotions on his blogging sleeve, yet i still have people tell me, “oh, i read your blog, so i feel like i’m caught up with what’s going on in your life” to which i snort and explain that while i will always be honest here, i will not subject you to the daily grind of what goes on in my head or in the life of my family.

i do twitter frequently. i do facebook almost daily. and you can find me at the end of both of those links. no, this isn’t a death knell for rustypants speaks, nor is it any announcement that i’m taking a break.

don’t worry - the faucet will be back on soon.  stick with me or subscribe to my RSS feed.

well, i guess cincinnati must feel like hell right now.

pensacola is chilly by pensacola standards…

but it isn’t that bad.

i will comment on the number of Southern folk who have been complaining about the “bitter cold” weather the last couple days and my comment is this: oh, get over it! y’all don’t know cold!! 

to all my Northern friends and family: wish you were here. the spare bedroom is available on a first-come, first-serve basis. 

this is what happens

when you find a big, dead fish at the park

and decide to roll around on it over and over and over

you big dumbass dog

currently reading / finishing / getting ready to start the following:

what is the what is excellent so far! 

catching up on some other things before recapping trip and getting back into writing. for now, here are the GPS stats for the trip from cincinnati to pensacola.

happy new year!

where is satan sockpuppet?

why there he is! he’s in cincinnati making fun of the tyler-davidson fountain!

silly satan! don’t you know that inanimate objects can’t be damned for all time??

i finished reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close a couple nights ago and what a wild and exhausting ride. it’s an almost stream of consciousness narration by a ten year old of higher than ordinary intelligence and personality as he searches for answers. the story starts with our protagonist having been sent home early from school in NYC on 9-11-01 and finding 4 messages on the answering machine. it’s his father calling from the top of one of the towers. the ensuing journey comes after he finds a key a couple years later in his fathers belongings - his quest, the people he meets, the pain, hurt, and compulsions he experiences, the dynamics with his mother and grandmother, the interlaced narratives of his grandfather and grandmother, and the continuing aftermath of 9-11 - it’s exhausting and exhilarating all at once. Jonathan Foer uses pictures in unusual and creative ways in this book that ultimately add much to the storyline, but are initially confusing.

i rarely cry over books and even more rarely have to put a book down for a couple days because of the emotional impact (as well as the insomnia the subject matter caused). this book did all that and more. i recommend the book, but only if you can handle a pretty intense level of grief and pain in the writing.

my second recommendation comes with no warning: Persepolis is an excellent read, and in graphic novel format, similar to Maus by Art Spiegelman.  it’s an excellent telling of one woman’s perspective on the iranian revolution - the drawings go a long way in helping to tell the tale and her writing (or the translation of it) is clear and to the point. her relationships with her parents, grandmother, friends, and lovers all shed light on attitudes and the struggles faced during this time. the bottom line was that a face was put to the enormous sacrifice paid by the people.

the movie is also good, but the books go further and deeper.

my current reading list over the christmas break:

• a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini
• flags of our fathers by james bradley
• under the banner of heaven by jon krakauer

happy reading!

thirteen.

that’s the magic number of pronouns in the extra credit question posed friday.

“how so?” you might be thinking. let’s break it down, shall we?

panel 1: “you” “me” “you” “they” “you”
panel 2: “it” “you” “someone” “your”
panel 3: “I” “you”
panel 4: “I” “I”

final tally = 13

for those who guessed 15, i am assuming you added “these” in panel 1, and perhaps one of the instances of “that” in panel 4. both of these words CAN be used as pronouns, but “these” is an adjective modifying “assignments,” and the word “that” is used as an adverb (showing extent or degree).

my two winners? kate (a way cool chick and junior at U of Maryland) and rachael (another way cool chick, and a junior at Miami University). i’ll have your prizes in the mail this week!

one thing i learned here is: this extra credit question will be virtually impossible for my students to get. 15+ people responded to this via comments, facebook, text messages, and in person, and only two got it right (and at least 40 others clicked on the link but refused to answer the question, making me suspect those folks didn’t know it either). i may need to modify this one and make it multiple choice.

thanks for participating!

after the post about the greatest camp picture ever, i’ve gotten several hundred hits on that one story. it’s spurred numerous conversations about games designed to make kids puke at youth group and most discussions include note-taking on good ideas for future gross games.

but i’ll never forget the last time i played a gross food game during youth group.

travis and i had been out earlier that week having lunch together when we realized we’d never been to the huge asian supermarket over by sharonville. after a tasty meal, we hit the store and were blown away by gross possibilities presented in the form of snacks and prepared foods comprised of creatures we thought to be inedible.

the most intriguing of these items?

prepared, shredded jellyfish with a spice packet. it looked exactly like cooked ramen noodles and the spice packet looked like capsicum pepper oil.

highly pleased with my find, that week at youth group i set out to find someone willing to give this sea-creature nastiness a try.

teenagers are easy and most can be bought for a very low price. in this case, cherry cordial offered to eat the jellyfish in exchange for a CD of some sort.

80 high schoolers gathered around to watch me tear the package open, take a whiff (whew! NASTY!), dump it into a bowl and offer him the spice packet (he declined, and wisely so, i think).

and we all held our collective breath as he took the first bite and chewed. and chewed. and chewed.

now, one rule of youth ministry “games” is that they must be quick. 80 kids who DON’T get to play MUST be entertained SOMEHOW. either all the jellyfish needed to be eaten, he needed to puke, or he needed to spit it out, and refuse to eat another bite. if one of these things doesn’t happen early, the chewing chewing chewing gets… old. boring. unentertaining.

and he chewed. and his face was scrunched and it was obviously nasty tasting. but he kept trying, and interest started to wane.

i began to pick on him and made my first mistake of the night: “c’mon, cordial! how bad could that stuff actually be? get going, fool!”

and he chewed, still on the first bite.

and i went over, teased him a bit more and then made my second mistake: i took one strand of the jellyfish and made a production out of putting it into my mouth.

and i chewed. and chewed. and wanted to puke. and quickly spit the salty, rubbery, foul-tasting treat out to much laughter and gagging noises from the crowd.

i handed cherry the CD, apologized to him for the jellyfish, and never played another gross food game during youth group again.

the end of the first semester at my school is upon us and i’ve spent the last several days putting together my 1st semester final exams (counting as 20% of my students’ final grades). in an attempt to start with a chuckle on my three English exams, i’ve put one of my favorite calvin and hobbes cartoons on the exam cover.

i also included an extra credit question on each exam and for my ENG12 class, i had a brilliant idea! the question is: how many pronouns are in the calvin and hobbes comic on the cover of this exam?

but looking it over, i wonder how many of them will get it, and whether it’s an unfair question.

so, faithful friends, i put it to you:

how many pronouns are in the following cartoon?

the first correct answer will be rewarded with a pair of Plak Smacker FUN Great White Shark Toothbrush Covers and a strand of authentic Mardi Gras beads (and you can keep your shirt down, thankyou). these will be sent by mail next week.

the second correct answer will win a genuine paper hat stolen from The Varsity in Atlanta, GA.

please, only one guess per person, and please don’t be intimidated by previous answers - gimme yours, too!

if he could walk himself, that’d be an added bonus…

there are days where i don’t want or need to be intellectually stimulated.

every now and then, when school has been kicking my butt, or life in general has been hectic, i crave mindless entertainment.

we don’t watch TV. what’s a dude to do? how do i get my mindless fix?

Hellboy II was the answer tonight.

and it was everything we needed it to be.

stupid.
funny.
action.
no thinking required.
simply shut down and watch.

perfect!

the first one wasn’t too bad, either.

Download C’mon down.

…and other times it feels like it’s been a lifetime.

not that this is a bad thing! lise and i celebrated 18 years together today and it’s been a fun, crazy adventure together from the beginning.

we got married on december 1, 1990 in cincinnati after a year of dating and engagement. we had known each other since we were eighteen years old, but didn’t really get to know each other well until we were 20 or so.

i don’t remember the very first time i met her, but i remember being fascinated by her unique spirit and attitude.

she was going to school with my girlfriend / roommate (an evil, underhanded individual) and so we ran into each other at school parties and get togethers. when i finally had the sense to break it off with the girlfriend, i began running into lise in all sorts of places around town. over the course of a year we would run into each other and i would think, “stupid!! stupidstupidstupid! why didn’t you ask her out?!?”

but i knew the answer. she was gorgeous, gentle, and cool. and i was a big fat dork.

when i finally did get up the nerve to ask her out, it was like a bad sitcom. i asked her if she’d be interesting in having dinner, and without even listening to her answer i started telling her it was ok and i understood, etc. she was looking at me like i was nuts - she had said yes! woo-hoo!

i remember our first date quite well. at least, i remember my first date with HER. she apparently didn’t start dating me until about a month after i started dating her (she thought we were just “friends” but i knew better).

we dated from october to february when i proposed to her - quick, you say? hey, i knew what i wanted and i wanted her! thankfully she said yes (although she thought she was getting a hamster for valentine’s, not an engagement ring).

i remember little of the wedding ceremony except that i was nervous and excited.

in the eighteen years since, we’ve:

• lived in cincinnati, ludlow, ky, washington dc, baltimore, cincinnati again, and finally pensacola, fl.
• both gotten college degrees, taught, done youth ministry, and picked up tons of friends and adopted family along the way
• gotten closer to both of our families
• gone through cancers, mental illnesses, thickheadedness, poor decisions
• owned 15 cars
• bought a house and sold it
• driven each other crazy frequently
• gotten crazier together and have had more fun together than we ever thought possible
• realized that we’ll never grow bored, no matter how well we know each other
• grown closer and loved more than we could have ever dreamed

i would marry her again and again. she’s my best friend. she’s my partner. she’s my love. i wouldn’t trade our lives together for anything else. i absolutely love being married to her.

here’s to another 18+ years!

we were 17. we were young, stupid, and bored.

scott and i managed to swipe a bottle of old granddad and were out on a saturday night, mercifully without a curfew. we’d been driving, without the drinking, but now our master plan was to be enacted.

we pulled into the I-275 theater on the east side of cincinnati where every saturday night was a midnight showing of some concert film.

tonight’s film?

pink floyd’s The Wall. we’d been singing it in the car at the top of our lungs for the past year or so but had never seen the movie.

we sat in the parking lot and hit the bottle for a while, getting a buzz on. and then went a bit further.

we bought our tickets, grabbed seats in the mostly empty theater and settled in for what we were sure was going to be an incredible, mind-altering ride through one of the greatest albums ever made.

and all i can say now, even 23 years after the fact, is this:

the shaving scene had us stuttering like sylvester in a crazy, mouse-infested haunted house.

we were still twitching while the credits were rolling.

i never drank old granddad again.

the movie still disturbs me.

yeeeesh!!

my campaign for Teacher of the Year folded up its tent 2 weeks ago after a long, arduous journey. along the way, i enlisted the help of our school librarian to start a fake smear campaign just so we could have a bit of fun with it. unknown to me at the time, she was planning her own campaign! a third teacher got in on the act, and by election day, a full-on battle was brewing for the hearts and affections of the staff.

on the day of the vote, i sent out this final push to my school:

My friends -

Early poll results are showing a precipitous drop in support for my candidacy for Teacher of the Year. Must I cross my fingers and reiterate my capricious campaign promises from last week? Is that Crow woman able to sway your support so easily? This smear campaign waged by my opponent is a distortion of the exemplary record I manufactured and have run on these five days.

Do you really want a year of being represented by some librarian who dyes her hair blue? Or a science teacher with ray bans making what is surely some secret sign of the devil with his fingers?

Please: consider the alternatives, then reach the only acceptable conclusion: this hearing impaired, ESE-teaching, Ohio Yankee transplant representing our fine school would show a tolerance and acceptance not seen in other schools. Consider the barriers we can break and the unity we can build… together as I reach across the aisle and work with my non-hearing-impaired, Southern counterparts.

Thank you for your support, and God bless the PF Eagles -

Scott Rust

sadly, this final push came to naught, and finally, after the dust settled and the votes were counted, none of the three of us won - a much more worthy teacher took top prize. my concession email was sent the following day:

My friends, we have come to the end of a long journey. The PFHS staff have spoken, and they have spoken clearly. A little while ago, I had the honor of emailing ____ ______ to congratulate her on being elected the next Teacher of the Year of the school that we both love.

I am so deeply grateful to all of you for the great honor of your support and for all you have done for me. I wish the outcome had been different, my friends. I hope for a kinder, gentler Pine Forest with a thousand points of light. A kinda mavericky school. And today, I call on all Eagles to not despair of our present difficulties but to believe always in the promise and greatness of PFHS, because nothing is inevitable here. Furthermore, I pledge to do all in my power to help Ms. ______ lead us through the many challenges we face.

In closing, I offer you my final 2008 TotY Campaign poster and pray you will print it, post it, and always remember the year that a Deaf Yankee ESE teacher was candidate for the highest office in PFHS.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless PFHS.

Scott

there’s always next year!

there he is!

he’s tempting fate by dancing on the head of an angel!

bad satan sockpuppet!!